Page 20 of The Nixie and the Frost Elf

I have no idea what to expect of the coming conversation, especially because I have no idea exactly what's going on in Lexi's mind. And I've never had a conversation like this. It's important that I get this right. I don't want to ruin my chances at building something with her, but I also know that there's a chance we could discover that it's not possible for us to have a relationship.

My heart squeezes even at the thought. Ever since she told me she was ace, I've been trying to figure out what that might mean for us, and I know that this conversation and finding out what it means to her is going to be key to that.

I try to keep my thoughts in check as I split the pasta bake into two portions and carry the bowls over to the table where Lexi is currently waiting for me.

Lexi's green skin is so pale that I think she might be sick, and I feel awful for it. I don't want her to be uncomfortable at all, especially not because of me.

I set the two bowls of pasta down, and take the seat opposite her.

"Are your flatmates not going to want to use the kitchen?" she asks nervously, looking at the door as if expecting one of them to walk through the door at any moment.

I shake my head. "They're out at a party."

"Right. Thank you for making dinner." She picks up her fork and sticks it into the pasta to get herself some. From her expression, she's not really paying attention to anything.

"Do you just want to skip to the chase?" I ask.

"Yeah, that might be best. I'm sorry, this is...not a normal conversation for me."

"I don't think I've ever had one like this either," I admit. "But that's not a reason to avoid it."

"True." She takes a deep breath. "So, sex. There, I said it."

I chuckle. "Was that a problem?"

"Not really. I've just been thinking about it a lot since I saw you in the dining hall, and exactly what it might mean for me. It's strange to have it on my mind as much as I have."

"Maybe we can take it off your mind a bit more after today. I don't expect anything."

"I'm sure you believe that, but what about in five years' time?" She manages to eat some of her pasta, but I'm not sure how much she tastes it when I can barely register any of mine.

"I don't know," I admit. I want to tell her that this is never going to be a problem for us, but I don't actually know if that's true. The situation is definitely a lot more nuanced than that.

"All right, well, the truth is good."

"Is it?"

She shrugs. "We can work with that." She eats a bit more of her pasta. "And it's not like everything is off the table."

I raise an eyebrow. "It's not?"

She shakes her head. "I enjoy orgasms."

"Who doesn't?"

She laughs. "There are some people. But I'm not one of them."

I try everything I can not to think about how she might have found out that she enjoys coming. "All right, so if you enjoy that part, is it something you prefer to do alone, or..."

"I can be with someone." She looks down at her plate.

I clear my throat. "Okay. So, erm, I'm sorry, my mind is all over the place."

A small smile lifts at the corner of her lips, not quite amused, but it isn't unamused either. "I can guess where your mind is," she responds.

"I'm trying to keep it off there," I admit. "It's hard."

"I bet it is."