Page 101 of Hard to Hold

“Lennox, dear. My wild child at heart. The daughter who I wasn’t sure would be happy or pissed that we all showed up to crash a few days of her independence to celebrate her birthday.”

“Almost birthday,” I say amid everyone’s laughter.

“Yes, almost birthday. We know you’ve struggled finding where you fit best lately. Sometimes it’s not a matter of fitting best but rather needing to hold on to that moment in time you fit into and living it to the fullest. We know you’ll find what you’re looking for just as we hope you know how very much we love you. Wander if you need to. Roam to find that fit. Just know wherever it is, you’ll always have a home to come back to.” My dad’s eyes lock on to mine and his are as wet with tears as mine are. “Happy Birthday, Lennox. May you wander where you need to wander and may this be the best one yet.”

Everyone says, “Hear, hear,” before clinking glasses, as my dad steps forward and embraces me in another one of his bear hugs. The hugs that solved all problems when I was a kid and still fixes things while I’m an adult too. I’ve felt incomplete without them.

“Your mother would be so proud of you,” he says before giving me a kiss on the cheek and stepping back so everyone else can give me love as well.

Rush is last in line. He reaches out and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear before leaning down and brushing his lips over mine and whispering, “Happy Birthday, Nox.”

I swear there’s a collective hush over the party as they watch their sister—the one who hates public displays of affection and anything that can be considered romantic—not fight it when it comes to this man.

Somehow, it seems so damn natural with Rush, it’s ridiculous.

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

RUSH

“THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE.” DEKKER KINCADE stands outside the changing room of the stadium, where I just fulfilled my last contracted MLS exhibition game. There are more events on the calendar, but this was the last big one.

“Thanks, but I’m feeling a bit rusty.”

“Oh, please,” she says with a roll of her eyes that is so Lennox, it’s funny.

I close the distance between us, and she pushes off the wall she was leaning against. Her arms are still crossed over her chest and her eyes are still fixed on mine.

Uh-oh.

It’s big-sister protection time.

“It’s true. I’m going to be lagging when I get back home to the team.”

“So that’s the plan? For you to head back when this contract is fulfilled?”

“Despite whatever rumors are out there, yes.” She nods, her eyes intense. “What is it you want to ask, Dekker? There’s a reason Hunter’s not standing beside you, so my best guess is you’re going to give me a warning that if I break your sister’s heart, I’m going to have to deal with you next. Is that it?”

Her smile is slow to crawl onto her lips but does anyway. “Do I need to worry?”

“We’re both adults who went into this knowing where it would end. Will it sting? A lot more than I fucking expected it to, but . . .” I force a smile, but I think both Lennox and I know it’s going to hurt like a bitch when we do leave here. I see it in the way she looks at me now. It’s in the way she kisses. It’s in the way I hold her a little tighter at night when she sleeps, so I can remember everything. “We live in two different worlds. Two different countries. We’re two successful people hell-bent on our professional success.”

“As are Hunter and I.”

“Look”—I laugh—“we’re not you and Hunter. We’re us and we don’t need anyone forcing us into a mold other than one we’ve created for ourselves.”

“Fair enough.” She chews on her bottom lip, and I’d kill to know what’s going through her mind.

“Have you guys enjoyed your trip?” I ask.

“Who wouldn’t with this weather?” she says. “We’ve all met with some of our West Coast clients, which is always good, but most of all we were able to check in on Lenn and make sure she was okay.”

“And is she?” I ask, realizing this might be the point of this whole conversation. “In your eyes, is she doing okay?” I angle my head to the side and stare at her.

“Seems to be,” she murmurs. “The bullshit Finn pulled on her really did a number on her self-esteem. It’s the first time she’s literally dropped everything and flown the proverbial coop, so to speak, taking a job that wasn’t the right fit for her.”

“What? What did Finn do to her?”

“The Las Vegas conference a few months back?” She stares at my blank look. “Shit, I’m sorry. I figured you—never mind.”