Page 40 of Knot Now Knot Ever

“I feel like I need to make sure you know it doesn’t bother me in the least that sex happens pretty much everywhere in our house. Fawn is my Omega, and I love him with all my heart, but neither of us has ever felt sexually attracted to each other. It doesn’t change the fact I would do anything to protect Fawn and ensure he has whatever he needs,” Pascal explained.

Cocking my head slightly, I studied Pascal, trying to figure out what exactly had this man wound so tight. If I’d thought Eli was a ticking time bomb, Pascal was mere seconds away from exploding. I reached out and took his hand, leading him to the pair of wicker patio chairs where I urged him to sit.

“I hope I’m not overstepping or assuming something incorrectly, but do you feel that there’s something wrong with you because you don’t want to have sex with Fawn?” I asked as I continued to hold his hand in my lap, feeling he needed the reassurance as much as I did.

Pascal dropped his amber gaze and covered my hand so it was cradled between his. “Maybe a little,” he admitted. “I don’t know anyone who’s bonded to an Omega and doesn’t sleep with them. One Omega for a pack… that’s how it’s supposed to work, right?”

I nodded but kept silent, allowing him to share whatever he was feeling without my input.

“I do love Fawn. He’s the little brother I always wanted. My mom couldn’t have any more kids after me. She had complications, and the only way to stop her from bleeding to death was to remove everything. We cuddle, watch movies, play video games, and he is one of the only people who thinks I’m funny,” Pascal shared with a chuckle. “I’ll be the first to tell you I’m not a funny person, but you’ll never be able to convince Fawn any differently. What doesn’t make sense to me is how a love like we have is seen as wrong. Clearly, as the Alpha, I’m the one who’s broken because with one glance at Fawn, you know he isn’t the one saying no to sex.”

Listening as Pascal poured out his heart, my own ached for him. I knew what it felt like for people to call you crazy and fucked in the head for a choice they didn’t agree with. Why did everyone have to be the same? Wasn’t the world big enough for a person to be themselves?

“I’m so sorry that you were ever made to feel that way, Pascal,” I murmured, gripping the hand I held tighter. “People can be so shallow-minded and fear what they don’t understand. To me, the love you have for Fawn makes me feel a little jealous.”

Upon hearing me say that, Pascal’s head snapped up, and a look of horror was written on his face. Before he could panic a second more, I held up a hand to stop whatever he planned to say.

“Wait, let me finish,” I requested, and he nodded but braced himself for the worst. “The way I see it, you love Fawn for who he is as a person. You see past the hypersexual nature and see Fawn, the sweet, cheerful ball of sassy sunlight that he is. Do you know how many people would kill to have that kind of love? Think about it… Fawn never has to worry if his looks fade or he gains weight from having babies, you won’t see him any differently. A love like that is rare and beautiful in my eyes.”

Pascal’s eyes shimmered with emotion and unshed tears as he gazed at me, shell-shocked. He raised a hand to cup my cheek, gently stroking his thumb across my skin, causing my eyes to flutter shut at the pleasant sensation. Having him this close, I inhaled his rich, cedar scent with earthy tones of sage that provided a grounding sensation after the tumultuous day.

“Can I kiss you?” Pascal whispered.

I could feel the warmth of his breath alerting me he’d leaned in closer. “Yes,” I answered, and not a second later, his lips met mine.

The kiss was tentative, as if he wasn’t comfortable with what he was doing. There was a certain lack of confidence, almost like this was the first time he’d kissed someone. Although, with each passing second, Pascal grew more assured in his actions, drawing me closer until I had to crawl onto his lap or break the kiss. Tilting my head to the side, I wound my arms around his neck as I felt his hand spread wide on my back, pressing me against his body. I cautiously nipped at his lower lip, hoping he would deepen the kiss further.

Pascal groaned, rocking his hips in a way I couldn’t ignore the hard cock hidden away under his clothes. Dropping his head, Pascal buried his face in my chest, nuzzling between my breasts as one hand slid to my ass and pressed me down on his cock.

“Fuck,” Pascal moaned, his voice muffled by my cleavage. “Lyra, what are you doing to me?”

I gripped his head with my hands and sat back enough to see his face. “Tell me, Pascal…tell me what I am doing to you.”

“It’s hard to describe…” he admitted. “I feel like my blood is on fire, and the only thing that could possibly put it out is you.”

I yelped as he yanked me close and moaned at the feel of his teeth scraping along my neck.

“Your scent is intoxicating, Lyra. I want it everywhere so I never have to go a moment without its sweet reminder of you. God, this feels almost primal in the way I need you. Like how junkies talk about getting their next fix, but it won’t be enough and will never be enough. I don’t think this desire will ever go away. How could it when it feels so intense? Nothing has ever come close to making me lose the control I value in my life until this moment. Why? What about you changes everything? Desires I’ve never had, urges I don’t understand, and knowledge deep in my soul that you’re mine.”

Pascal growled those last two words, sending a jolt of need right to my weeping pussy. It seemed like the slightest touch, look, or word could bring me to the edge, desperate for that final step to push me over the edge, but it never came. How could I not have realized I was close to my heat? I’d been brushing these feelings off because this was the longest I’d gone without sex in years. For any Omega, sex was a routine part of life unless they were always on suppressants for some reason. I’d never taken them, choosing a different route to deal with the ever-present need as an Omega.

Not wanting Pascal to take things further than he was ready for because of how close I was to my heat, I pushed him back. He looked at me confused, then tensed when the door to the patio opened, but Pascal relaxed when he saw who it was. I ignored whoever joined us, not wanting to break the spell between Pascal and me. What just happened confirmed what I’d suspected.

“I just want you to know your reaction to me proves nothing is wrong with you, Pascal,” I stated. “How could you know that your pack was meant to have two Omegas? Besides, there are many types of love, but none are lesser than the other. To have people in your life you love is a blessing, and there is no wrong way to share your heart.”

“It just doesn’t make any logical sense,” he argued. “How can it be so different and yet equal at the same time?”

“You’re preaching to the choir on that one.” I chuckled. “Do you know how long I’ve been trying to convince myself that it didn’t matter if I met my matches? How could biology possibly have that much influence on a person? No, it had to be a lie. I could be happy and find love with another pack, even if they weren’t my Alphas.”

“Were you? Happy, I mean, with another pack?” Pascal asked with a slight crack in his voice, betraying his fear.

“No,” I whispered, shaking my head.

Emotions began to build as I slid off his lap, smoothing out my dress so I didn’t have to face anyone. “I thought we were happy and in love. We worked hard enough at it, so there was no reason we shouldn’t have been. If I’d known how simple it was supposed to be when you're with the right people, I never would have fought so hard.”

Closing my eyes, I hugged myself as I remembered the day they came home and introduced me to their real Omega. In the years we’d been together, I’d never seen them look at me the way they looked at her. It had been a knife in my already wounded heart. I couldn’t understand how they could throw away everything we’d worked for in a second. Now, I knew if the same thing had happened to me, I would have left without a second thought. Elora had been right when she warned me I’d get hurt either way, but at least I’d know what unconditional love felt like.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I opened my eyes and was met with the sight of my pack. All five of them watched me with loving concern, and I knew it was time to come clean. They deserved to know my story and the scars it left behind. Each of them had been doing their best to give me space and let me take things at my own pace without a word of argument. I didn’t deserve that, but they gave it to me anyway.