Page 33 of Knot All Is Ruined: Part 2

The four of us waited in silence to see what our leader would decide to do as we waited. We’d already agreed to stay here for a few days to make sure Dani was well and truly out of her heat, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t use the time wisely.

“Toma, I need you to work on a route that will get us through Southern territory avoiding towns and military stations that will get us as close to the mountain range as you can. I know Lucian was going to head North then cross over, but I think it might be smarter to do it this way. I also need to see if you can dig up whatever maps we have of the Northern territory. For I’m not so worried about where towns and outposts are. I want to know more about the landscape,” Sorin instructed.

I nodded my understanding and got up to pull some clothes on. As he continued to give orders to the others, I headed for my laptop in the kitchen. Lucian was lying propped up on the couch with Dani curled up on his chest, fast asleep. Quietly I walked over to them crouching to brush a kiss on her lips. She gave a contented little hum and snuggled in closer to Lucian. I was glad to see she was able to rest, but it gutted me to see her puffy tear-stained face.

“Why didn’t she want to go home?” I murmured. “I could feel her pain and desperation to see her mother again.”

Lucian lovingly stroked a hand down her back as he gazed down at her. “She didn’t want to go without us. Silly woman said her mother would be upset if she showed up alone without her pack.”

My eyes grew wide as I met his gaze. “What?”

“Why are you surprised? You’ve seen the way she is with those two girls. She’s like a mother hen to them, protecting her little chicks from the world as best she can. There is no way she’d leave us to fight a war while she’s safe in Oscad with her parents. To her, it would be a betrayal, and that’s not something she can stomach,” Lucian reasoned.

Sitting on the floor beside them, I just stared at her. Etching her features into my memory, so no matter what, I would remember the face of a woman who was stronger than anyone I’d ever known. I tried to put myself in her shoes, to get the news that my mother was dying while on a mission and knowing there wasn’t much time to say goodbye. Of course, I’d know that Beth would be with her. The two of them were incredibly close.

My mother was also a nurse; it’s what made Beth want to become one herself. Our father was a teacher who once taught at one of the city’s largest schools. He’d worked there until his failing mind prevented him from continuing. Our medical practices were top-notch. Even still, there wasn’t a way to repair the nerve damage that caused his memory to fade. That and he’d signed a document long ago that prevented us from using experimental or extraordinary measures on him. He believed that when it was a person’s time to go, they should do so with grace, knowing not many got the luxury of dying from old age.

Since my father couldn’t look after himself, my mother retired from the Med Center to look after him full-time. Both Beth and I gave them half our salary on top of the retirement pay they lived off of, so they had nothing to worry about. Neither of my parents loved that I joined the military, even if right now it was providing for them as my family. A perk of the job since our government understood the risk we faced every day and the toll it took on our families.

I couldn’t wait for Dani to meet them simply because I knew they’d take to her right away. They’d always been supportive of my relationship with Petru and Cris, although I knew they hoped one day I’d find an Omega to add to the family. There have been many dinners with the whole unit at my parents’ since I was one of the only members of the team to have both parents alive. Victor’s father was alive, though they didn’t have a relationship. Sorin’s parents were alive, but obviously, they weren’t the type to have cookouts in the backyard. Cris’ mother would join us if she felt comfortable leaving her current house guest alone.

All in all, I was lucky to have a sister I saw often, parents who loved and supported me, and a pack who was my family. It was silly to get all emotional like this when there was so much pain and hurt in the world. Yet experiencing that feeling of loss through Dani put things sharply in perspective. We could head off to the North, rally the troops and storm the castle saving the day. Then on the flip side of that, we could fail and die, no one ever having a clue what happened to us. This was the dark side of being part of the military. You fought for your country even at the risk of possibly not coming home.

So was it worth it?

That was the question each and every one of us needed to answer for ourselves. Today Dani had decided that being with us, trying to stop this war, and knowing we could fail was worth it. So much so, she was willing to chance never being able to see her mother again. Did I have that kind of courage? Feeling eyes on me, I pulled myself back to the present and saw her gorgeous green eyes flecked with gold looking at me. When she saw I noticed her awake, she reached out a hand to me, which I took and kissed.

“What’s wrong?” she whispered. “You feel so anxious and conflicted. Did they say they wouldn’t help us?”

Shaking my head, I just held her hand pressed to my lips for a moment before answering. “I’m just amazed by you, Dani. I don’t think I could pass up the chance to see my mother if I knew she was dying. Greater good be damned. I want to be able to say goodbye to her.”

“Toma, I’ve been living the past nine years thinking my mother was already dead. The part that’s more painful for me is to know she’s been alive all this time and didn’t know if I was okay. Would I love to see her, tell her I’m safe, loved, and looked after so she can rest easy? Yes, but what would I tell her when she asks me where you are?” Dani pressed. “I’d have to tell her you’re fighting to end a war that would change the lives of everyone in your country. How can I look her in the eye knowing full well I should be right here with all of you? Oscad is where I’m from, it’s the country I grew up in, but Asturg is now my home. It’s where all of you and your families are.”

“Just like that?” I asked.

“What do you mean, just like that?” she teased, smirking at me. “I’ve been in Asturg for three years. I know the language, signed on with the Southern Military, and found myself a pack. What more is there to convince me that this is where I belong?”

“When you put it that way,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair before smiling at her. “I’m sorry my worrying woke you up. Go back to sleep, I’ve got some work to do and you’re far too distracting.”

She lifted her head for a kiss which I gave her gladly, deepening it for a moment, letting her feel how incredible I thought she was. Pulling back, I gave her a wink and tucked the blanket around her again as she settled against Lucian.

“You good?” I asked, feeling the need to check in with him like I would any of the others.

He nodded as he stroked her hair. “I’ve got everything I need right here.”

Fuck, if that wasn’t the truth of it. Now we just needed to make sure we deserved her.