Page 32 of Blood & Heartache

“Man, I don’t want to be him right now,” Ryker said with a sigh. “Let’s go, guys. We’ve got shit to do, and I want definitive confirmation this isn’t an inside job. The whole Family is showing up at the house tomorrow, and I need to know if we’re hunting down a rat.”

Chapter 14

Everyone decided we were going to do dinner on our own. Astin hadn’t come back out of her room, but Dr. Hayden had promised she was doing much better and was choosing to work in her personal office. When I went to check on her, Boykov proved just how good of a blockade he could be.

“I’m sorry, Master Braxton, but I’m not going to let you in,” Boykov explained. “I managed to get her head out of work long enough to eat something, but she’s laser-focused on getting ready for tomorrow. Atticus sent over all the information he’s found so far, and she asked not to be disturbed. I really think right now she needs to feel like she’s in control of something, and this is what she’s fixated on.”

Letting out a sigh, I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated. “She shouldn’t be pushing herself so hard after what happened today.”

The older man gave me a patient look. “Lady Astin is a grown woman who knows her limits. I can’t control what she does. However, it is my job to protect her, and I personally count protecting her from herself as part of that. I told you before it’s my duty to protect her, and I take that seriously. Now I suggest you also make sure you’re prepared for tomorrow. I have a feeling it’s not going to go how any of us expect.”

I chuckled at that. “Ryker warned me life with Astin was never going to be boring. I’ll leave her in your care but don’t get too comfortable. That’s when she’ll feel the need to change the game on you.”

Heading back down to the second floor, I walked past my room and let myself into Jace’s. He was at his desk chewing on a pencil as he read whatever was on his computer screen. Hearing me, he glanced up and smiled. “Hey.”

“You have a minute to talk? I don’t want to distract you if you’re into something important,” I said, slipping my hands into my pockets to hide the fact I was nervous as hell to have this conversation.

Jace’s brow furrowed at my question as he pushed back from the desk. “Everything okay? Something happen with Astin?”

“Nothing’s wrong, and Astin is in for the night with a giant Russian guarding her. No one will be bothering her,” I assured him. “Things have been so crazy since the shooting I just wanted to check in with you.”

Even I knew how lame and absolutely not me that reasoning sounded. Fuck, why couldn’t this be as simple as talking to Astin was? Seriously, it made no sense. Jace and I had been together for a few years—well, not together, together—but we’d been fucking for the past three years. Shouldn’t that make this easier? I trusted the man to tie me up, beat my ass, and choke me until I saw stars as I came. How the fuck was it so hard to have an honest conversation about feelings?

Jace shoved out of his chair and walked over to me, searching my face as if it would tell him what was wrong. Then something settled over him, and I knew he was in Dom mode. “Pup, do you need me to take control?”

I let out a shaky breath. “Yes, Sir.”

“All right then, kneel,” Jace ordered.

The comfort of knowing I was no longer in charge of things settled over me as I sank to the floor. Legs bent, hands resting on my thighs, back straight, and looking straight ahead, I took a deep breath and let myself shift into a submissive frame of mind. This place was safe, it was with a person I trusted and a man I think I might actually be falling in love with, and I never realized it.

“You’re being such a good boy, pup,” Jace praised. “Could it be that you want something from me?”

“Permission to speak, Sir,” I asked, knowing the rules we’d agreed to over the years.

“No,” Jace answered as he walked over to his favorite armchair. “First, I want you to strip, then bring me your collar.”

The brat in me perked up at the order, and I glanced at Jace out of the corner of my eye. “When you say strip, do you want me to only be wearing my collar? I just want to make sure I’m following the rules.”

He and I both knew when he said strip, it meant every article of clothing would be in a neat pile on the floor. No matter how hard I tried to be good for Jace, I just couldn’t stop myself from testing the boundaries. The challenge I gave Jace is what he loved and knowing that I enjoyed the discipline he gave made us a perfect pair.

“Pup, that’s one,” Jace warned, and so the punishment count of the night began.

The comfort I found in trusting our dynamic chased away all my nerves and fears. Jace was safe, and when he felt I was ready, he’d let me say what I came here to talk to him about and not a moment sooner. Shrugging out of my jacket, I folded and placed it beside me. Next was the tie, then the shirt, and I was forced to stand to remove the lower half of my clothes. Soon, I was naked as the day I was born and headed over to a set of drawers that Jace had filled with all the things we used to play with. Opening the top drawer, I found the box that held my collar and opened it.

In actuality, we hardly ever used it, but I knew why he wanted me to wear it tonight. Jace had always been able to read me when no one else could. In fact, it was much the same way I felt Astin could see right through the mask I wore and pinpoint me. By allowing Jace to put this on me tonight, he was reminding me I was his, and no matter what else might be happening in our lives, this was one truth I had a physical reminder of. Picking up the one-inch-wide black leather collar with the word Pup written on it, I carried it over to Jace. Without being told, I dropped to my knees, spread them wide, displaying myself to him, then put my hands behind my head and prepared to be collared.

Jace leaned forward and buckled the collar around my neck before catching my chin and kissing me fiercely. It was a brutal kiss with teeth and tongue, forcing me to open for him, which I did willingly. Keeping my body still in my position, I relaxed my mouth, letting him have his way with me. He sucked in my lower lip harshly and let his teeth scrape along the tender flesh, making me moan. I could feel my cock hardening as I reveled in Jace’s attention. When he pulled back, he licked his lips as if he couldn’t get enough of my taste and smiled.

“Modest kneel, pup, we have things to discuss, and I don’t want to be distracted by that cock of yours,” Jace instructed.

Lowering my hands, I spread them to cover my crotch as ordered.

“Do you feel better now, pup?” Jace asked, using my submissive pet name as a signal I had his permission to answer.

“Yes, Sir, thank you, Sir,” I answered, my shoulders sagging with relief.

Jace let his fingers trace my jaw gently as he sat back in his chair. “I give you permission to speak and tell me what’s on your mind, pup.”