Page 88 of I Wish You All the Best

“Next month is Empire. We can go if you want.”

“That’d be nice,” I say.

I follow Nathan closely. At least it isn’t too crowded anymore. I guess most people were ready to go home after the movie.

“Hey.” Nathan stops short, so I nearly run into him. “You okay?”

“What? Yeah,” I say quickly, trying to remember where I am. “Sure.”

“You seemed a little spacey there. I said your name like five times.”

“Oh, sorry. Got lost in my own head, I guess.”

“I know the feeling. What were you thinking about?” he asks me.

“Oh, um. Nothing,” I tell him.

“Really?”

I nod.

“Want to know what I was thinking about?”

I feel this tiny flare of panic, like he’s going to pick now to drop some bomb on me. I have to tell myself to stop it. He isn’t going to do that, especially now. It’s not going to happen.

But I don’t quite believe myself.

“Sure.”

“I was thinking about Ryder,” Nathan says. “Specifically this one time when we went to this specialty pet store downtown and bought him these chocolate things that were supposed to be safe for him to eat.”

“What happened?”

“The little punk wouldn’t eat them. I spent twenty dollars on treats just for him, and he turns his nose up at me.”

I snort. “What a jerk.”

“I told him that too. He just gave me those big eyes, and I couldn’t stay mad at him.”

“How old is he?” I ask.

“Nine. Mom got him for me when we first moved here, thought it might help the transition to a new place.”

“That’s cool. I’ve always wanted a cat.” Mom and Dad were strictly no mammalian or reptilian pets. They did let me have a fish when I was ten though. A little goldfish that I named Goldie. Because I was definitely creative with my name choices.

“It’s just up here.” He points, and I can just barely make out the lights along the railing. “Come on!” He grabs my hand, and we race down the trail and toward the bridge. Not slowing down until we’re a yard or two away.

I wait for him to give me back my hand, but he doesn’t. It’s nice. As nice as that night on the roof. Even better now, because it’s getting colder and he’s so impossibly warm. I try not to think about how this is what it would be like. If we could be together, if we could hold hands and walk around town without having to hide ourselves.

No. I push the thoughts away. I can’t. That’ll only make all of this worse.

“You should see this place on the Fourth of July. They have fireworks over the water and everything.” It’s dark, the streetlights along the walkway and the string lights on the railing only doing so much.

I let Nathan lead us right to the edge, and he finally lets go of my hand.

I don’t have the courage to tell him to take it back.

He wasn’t wrong, it’s pretty. It’s small, but it’s enough, with this little beachy area on the other side of the water, and a dock filled with those plastic paddleboats people love to rent for some reason.