Page 80 of I Wish You All the Best

“Maybe. I don’t really know.”

“Perhaps talking with her would be a good thing? Help you get everything out in the open.”

“You think so?” I ask.

“I do, and you never know until you try, right?”

I think Dr. Taylor thinks her words will make me feel better, but they don’t. There’s still this weird feeling in my gut. I don’t think Hannah would be mad at me for feeling this way. But I don’t know; it feels like if I told her all this …

Then things would never be the same.

“Ready to go back to school?” is the first thing Mariam says when I accept their FaceTime call.

“Not on your life,” I say.

“Come on, only two more months.”

“Two and a half,” I correct.

They laugh. “So, me and Shauna went out again.”

“Shauna?” I rack my brain, trying to remember who that is.

“The girl, the one I’m quite fond of kissing and holding hands with now? Purple hair, sort of looks like she’ll turn you into a frog if you wrong her.”

Jesus, how could I forget? “Right, sorry.”

“You okay?” They lean into the camera. “You seem spacey tonight.”

“Just thinking about a lot of things.”

“Talk to your enby mama!” They chuckle. “Dr. Haidari is in the building.”

“It’s a guy.”

“Again? Look at you.” They cheer. “Different guy or same guy?”

“Same one.” I open my mouth before I realize what I’m doing. “Mariam, how do you get someone to like you?”

They let out a little squeal and I have to put them on mute before Hannah or Thomas think something is wrong. “Sorry, I’ve just been waiting for this day for forever.” They pretend to wipe away a tear.

“Love the vote of confidence,” I add.

“How does he act around you?”

“The same way he acts around everyone else, pretty much.”

“Is it that confusing sort of friendly where you don’t know if he really is just being friendly, or if he’s flirting with you?”

“Basically.” I sigh. “I don’t even know if he’s queer. Or how the whole nonbinary thing would even work.”

“Cross your heart and hope he’s bi?” Mariam even makes the little “x” over their chest.

I can’t help but laugh.

“What do you like about him?”

“That’s kind of the thing. I don’t know if I like him, or if I like like him.”