Page 38 of I Wish You All the Best

“We’ll meet up this weekend. Okay?” he says.

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” I probably nod a bit too enthusiastically, while I try not to think too hard about what I’ve just volunteered to do.

I’m just as nervous about this second session as I was for the first. This time Dr. Taylor actually has something to discuss. We’re going to have to spend the whole hour talking about my panic attack, no more nice introductions or paperwork. This time it’s all about me.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

I want to know what’s wrong with me.

But at the same time, I don’t.

“How are you feeling, Ben?” Dr. Taylor asks me when I take a seat on the couch.

I try to make myself comfortable, probably moving around too much in the process. “Fine, I think.”

“I was happy when you agreed to see me earlier than planned.”

I want to ask her why, but that seems rude.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened over the weekend.”

I open my mouth, but the words are still hard to find.

“It’s okay, Ben, take your time.”

“It was a panic attack … I think.”

“Why don’t you start from the beginning for me?” She gets her pen and notepad ready.

I do what she asks. Hannah and Thomas went on a date night, so I was home alone, talking with Mariam. I saw a car in the driveway, and after that the details get a little fuzzy. I remember grabbing the laptop and going to the guest bedroom.

“You can’t remember anything else?”

“I do … sort of. It’s like it’s there, but not.”

Dr. Taylor nods her head. I wonder what that could mean. “Have you ever experienced anything like this before, Ben?”

Never in my life. “No.”

“Would your parents know where Hannah lives?”

“I don’t know.” It seems impossible, but I’d heard them talk about her once or twice. Nothing more than whispering to make sure I couldn’t hear them. I guess it wouldn’t be that hard, especially if Mom Facebook-stalked Hannah like I did.

“Do you really think it was them, in the car?”

I shrug. “It looked like the one Dad drives.” But I guess I can’t prove it was them. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

Dr. Taylor actually looks surprised. “Why wouldn’t I believe you, Ben?”

“It seems like you don’t.”

“I’m just trying to get all the information.” Dr. Taylor writes something down quickly, and that guilty feeling settles in my stomach. “Did anything else happen?”

“There was a knock at the door.”

“You didn’t answer, did you? Or see who might be on the other side?”

I shake my head. “I couldn’t. I felt like I was stuck.”