Page 114 of I Wish You All the Best

I tell them everything. The message, meeting with Mom and Dad, them showing up at the art show and the fight with Hannah. The texting already feels easier. Maybe it’s because Mariam isn’t actually here. I can’t see their face while I tell them this, and they won’t run over from their house to come and try to comfort me or whatever.

Mariam: Are you safe?

Me: Yeah, they’re gone.

Mariam: Ben… I don’t even know where to begin…

Me: They wanted me to go back home with them.

Me: I told them no

Mariam: THE. FUCK.

Mariam: Send me their address, I’m going to go kick their asses

Mariam: What can I do?

Me: keep me company?

Mariam: You got it, want to Facetime?

Me: Not right now.

Me: Just keep talking, not about them.

Mariam: Well…

Mariam: me and Shauna made it official, which sucks because my tour will take me out of California next week and she can’t come with me.

Me: That’s great! The official part, not the separating part.

Nothing feels faker than typing out false enthusiasm while I feel like I’m rotting from the inside out.

Me: I don’t think you told me how you met.

Mariam: The usual way. I kept seeing her at a Starbucks and I melted slowly into a puddle of anxiety until she actually came up to me and we started talking.

Me: Love at first anxiety attack

Mariam: That’s how I roll.

Mariam: What about you, what’s going on with your boy troubles?

Me: I don’t know… he was there, like he saw the fight and stuff.

Mariam: Please tell me they didn’t out you

Me: They didn’t

If there was a silver lining in all of this, I suppose it was that.

Me: But I…

Me: I think I like him. Like really like him. Maybe more than that.

Mariam: That’s great, Benji! I’m so happy for you

Mariam: Now how do we make the grand declaration of love? I’ve got those cannons that shoot t-shirts.