Page 9 of Wait for the Dream

“They just never come home. I hardly see them. And when I do see them, they’re so mean. They call me mean names. They’re not like your Momma and Pop, they don’t hug me or tell me they love me.” Her voice is so quiet I can hardly hear her.

“You should tell Momma and Pop that. Maybe they can help,” I tell her.

My Momma and Pop are the best, I’m pretty sure Pop is a superhero or something. He always knows how to fix things.

“No!” She sits up so fast, the arm I had around her hits me in the face. “You can’t tell them. Mother told me that I would get taken away from you if anyone knew what they said. You can’t tell them.”

“Okay, Blue. I won’t tell them. I don’t want you to be taken away from me. You’re my best friend. I’d miss you too much.”

“You promise?” She holds out her pinkie, and I twist my pinkie with hers.

“I promise.” It’s the first promise I’ve ever made that I want to break. I think Momma and Pop would want to know that Blue isn’t being treated well at home, but I can’t break a pinkie promise.

Bailey

7 weeks pregnant

It’s been a week since those two pink lines threw my life into chaos. I’ve spent a lot of time debating on how I would tell Daniel and my parents. With Daniel, I figured a text would be the best option. It might seem impersonal, but we just haven’t talked and I don’t want him to get the wrong idea if I send a text that asks to meet up. If he wants to talk in person after I tell him, I’m more than willing to do that, but I think this is the first step.

Aiden sinks down onto the spot next to me on the couch. “Just hit send, Blue,” Aiden says, giving me a stern look. I close my eyes tight and tap send on my phone.

Me: Hey Daniel, I know it’s really random to hear from me after over a month, but I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you something, and this is the only way I can think to do it. About a week ago, I found out I was pregnant, and you’re the only person I’ve been with in over a year, so the baby is yours. I am planning on keeping it. I don’t expect anything of you, but I thought maybe you would like to know. You can be as involved or uninvolved as you want. I am prepared to do this on my own if you don’t want to be involved.

Now, we wait to see if he responds. I lay my head in Aiden’s lap, while we watch New Girl reruns.

“I don’t know what I actually want from him. Do I want him to be involved? Or do I want him to say he doesn’t want anything to do with Little Bear so I don’t have to worry about him?” I ask with full sincerity.

Aiden is the only person I’ve ever been fully honest with, so I don’t feel the need to filter myself with him.

“I wish we had a chance to get to know him better before all of this. Then we might get a better idea of what kind of dad he would be.” Aiden runs his fingers through my hair as we talk.

“That’s so true. I mean, he was sweet when we talked at the coffee shop, but all he wanted to talk about at the bar was football.” I run a hand over my face, “Hopefully he will respond soon, then we won’t have to worry about it anymore.”

“I’ll be here every step of the way no matter how he feels about this. If he wants to be involved, he will find he has a new friend. If he doesn’t, well, you’ll have me to help with all the late nights and early mornings. You and Little Bear will always have me. No matter what.” His eyes are shining with something that looks an awful lot like longing. I feel my cheeks heat and my heart begins to race, those feelings that I bury deep inside me make an untimely appearance.

“Thanks, Bear,” I say, shyly. I sit up and turn to face him, giving him my best puppy dog face, “Will you go get me a popsicle? The baby wants it.”

It’s not the baby that wants the popsicle, it’s one hundred percent me, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Bear rolls his eyes at me and gets up, “Blue?” he calls from the kitchen.

“Yea?” I say, thinking he’s talking to me. He walks into the living room a few seconds later holding a blue and an orange popsicle. I laugh and shake my head, “Sometimes the nickname you gave me when we were four is inconvenient. I really thought you wanted to tell me something, not asking about the popsicle color.”

Aiden snorts a laugh. “Your nickname will never change, Blue. You’re stuck with it.”

We sit in a comfortable silence, eating our popsicles, letting Nick, Jess and the rest of apartment 4D distract us from the way my phone screen remains black.

Once our popsicles are finished, I lay down with my head on the arm of the couch, feet in Aiden’s lap. I doze off as he gently uses his thumb to rub the arch of my foot.

I don’t know how long has passed, but I’m woken up by my ringtone. I sit up, slowly, stretching my stiff muscles as I grab my phone off the table and open the text I’ve been waiting for. Aiden comes to sit next to me, so he can read the text over my shoulder.

Daniel: Are you serious? Listen, that night was fun, but I’m really not ready to be a father. I talked to my parents before sending this, and they are advising that you contact our lawyer. We will want a test done to make sure it is actually mine. Like I said, it was fun, but I really don’t want to be involved.

He sends contact information for a law firm that I’m guessing his parents wanted me to refer to. Guess that answers my question.

I toss my phone back down on the table, close my eyes, and take a few deep breaths. I don’t know what I expected from him, but not wanting anything to do with this baby that I already love so much wasn’t it.

“I’m not going to lie, that’s basically the response I expected from him. It’s fine. He’s missing out. I have no doubt Little Bear is going to be an amazing human. He will miss out on their entire life,” Aiden says with an eye roll.