Page 8 of Wait for the Dream

“You’re all ridiculous.”

I snatch the bag that looks like it literally has twelve boxes of pregnancy tests in it and head to the kitchen to get a cup that I’m not emotionally attached to. I head into the bathroom, hands shaking, and complete my business.

There are no boundaries between me and the Bakers. I open the door and the three siblings present come in. I have peed in front of all three of these people—Charly, too—so the fact that I was given space long enough to dip the tests is a surprise.

“Well, we have three minutes,” I say as I continue to dip tests. “What did we decide? Boy or girl? And don’t try me. I know you guys were fighting about what it should be the whole time I’ve been in here.”

“Boy, we want a boy. I will be calling him Little Bear, and he will be my new best friend,” Aiden announces proudly. I actually think he’s excited about the prospect of me having a baby.

“Little Bear is cute, but I will not accept my child stealing my best friend. That’s where I draw the line. You can be cool Uncle Bear, but you will not be his best friend,” I raise one eyebrow, trying to tell them how serious I am with my face. I’m only half joking about my child stealing my best friend.

As Aiden is about to give me some snarky come back, the alarm I put on my phone goes off. We all freeze for a moment, then I reach for the first one and flip it over. Two pink lines stare at me. I flip over the next one, same thing. As I flip over test after test they are all positive.

At that moment, I flop down onto the bathroom floor and put my head in my hands, tears begin to free fall from my eyes, my heart rate picks up, a heavy weight weighs down my chest, a tremor wrecks my entire body. I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. My mind races with every possibility, every one of them worse than the last.

Aiden

Bailey is pregnant with douchebag Daniel’s baby. How the hell did this happen? The girl I’ve been dreaming about, pining over, is having a baby with someone else. My gut twists. I’d hoped, somehow, that it would be Bailey and I in the end. Maybe married with a few kids of our own, a nice little house. These are private dreams— secret dreams. I’ll love this kid like he was my own—support her however necessary through this—but damn does my chest hurt.

I sit down on the floor next to Bailey and wrap one arm around her shoulder.

“Hey, Blue, you and Little Bear are going to be okay. You know the Bakers have your back no matter what you choose. No matter what happens with Daniel, we are here every step of the way. I am here every step of the way.”

“I know you’ve all got me, but how am I going to do this, Bear? My parents pay for my whole life. They didn’t even want me! They sure as fuck aren’t going to be okay with me having this baby. How am I going to afford a baby, how am I going to pay for everything this baby needs? How am I going to tell Daniel? My parents? Your parents?” She looks up at me with her eyes as wide as they can go, every word coming out faster than the one before.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, sweetheart!” I interrupt her rant “We will figure everything out, but not all at once. Why don’t we take tonight? Finish working on homework, watch a movie, snuggle, and get some sleep. Then in the morning we can start to figure everything out. You’ve been through enough for one night. Tomorrow’s a new day.” I stand up and reach for her hands to pull her off the ground. We walk into her bedroom and she crawls into bed. I tell her that I’ll be right back, and the twins and I walk into the living room.

“She’s going to be okay right?” Magnolia asks me.

The look of concern on her face isn’t surprising. Maggy and Charly have always looked up to Bailey. They see her as a big sister. Bailey may have come into the family as my best friend, but my siblings, especially Maddox and Maggy, have grown close with her over the years. Maggy has called Bailey on more than one occasion to get advice or come to her rescue.

“She will be fine. I’ll make sure of it. I’m going to stay here tonight, make sure you two stay out of trouble. I don’t want to get a call about some psycho party at the apartment,” I tell them as I usher them to the door.

Maggy is my quietest sibling, I know she will keep Maddox, my craziest sibling, out of trouble. They might be twins, but their personalities are vastly different. Maggy is quiet, reserved, and a little bit sassy when you really get her to open up. She’s the type to fade into the background and let everyone else shine. Maddox on the other hand is loud, always has a smile on his face and the person you can always count on to make you laugh when you’re down. He’s fiercely protective of the people he cares about.

“We won’t do anything crazy.” She turns to her brother and narrows her eyes. “Let us know if you or Bailey need anything. You know we have your back.” She steps out the door and with a quick kiss on my cheek from Maggy and a bro hug from Maddox, they walk down the stairs toward our apartment.

It takes a couple of trips, but I grab a couple glasses of water, a few snacks, and our homework stuff and head back to her room. She’s curled up on her side. It looks like she might have fallen asleep. I set everything down on the night stands on either side of the bed and crawl in bed with her. I play the big spoon and curl around her with my chest to her back. This isn’t the first time Bailey and I have shared a bed, and I know it won’t be the last. On the many nights she had to stay at our house she shared a room with me. There were four bedrooms in our house. My parents had their room, obviously, the twins shared a room, and me and Charly each had our own room. Charly had a crib before she upgraded to a twin sized bed and I had two twins in my room, so it made the most sense for her to sleep in my room. There were many nights when Bailey was extra sad that she would snuggle in my bed with me. I’m not complaining, I always slept better when she was in my bed, and other than sleeping, a few snuggles, many, many late night talks, and that one kiss before high school, nothing sexual has ever happened between me and Bailey, me and any girl for that matter.

As I lie awake, snuggling my favorite person in the world, I think about how she is going to handle being a mom. I have no doubt she is going to be the best mom in the world, I just hope that this doesn’t cause her to pull away from me. I may not like douchebag Daniel, but I will do everything in my power to play nice to make her and Little Bear’s life easier. He just better be ready to do the same if he wants to be in their lives. I hope she knows that I will be there no matter what happens.

Age 6

“Bear,” Bailey whispers from her side of the bed.

She sounds so sad. Blue’s parents didn’t come home again tonight. This past week her nanny, Nancy, quit and I guess her parents didn’t replace her. Since we moved in next door to the Michaels, I have spent a lot of time with Blue, so she didn’t need a nanny anyway. Momma and Pop can watch her. They already watch me and my siblings, what’s one more kid?

Without a nanny around, Bailey has been here most of the time, and with Momma’s rule, Blue sleeps over a lot. Bailey has to share a room with me, but luckily there are two beds. Sometimes she sneaks into my bed when she’s really sad, but that’s okay, who doesn’t like snuggles. Plus, her pretty face is the last thing I see before I fall asleep, and the first thing I see in the morning. It’s perfect.

“Yeah, Blue?”

She’s been acting kind of sad lately, and I don’t like it. She has the prettiest smile, and I want it there all the time.

“Do you think that I’m the reason my mom and dad never come home?”

I look over at her, and her eyes seem shiny. I think she’s crying. I decide I need to sneak into her bed tonight. I climb out of my bed and crawl into hers, snuggling close.

“Why would you think that? I always want to have you around. Why would you be the reason someone isn’t around?” I scrunch my nose, trying to figure out what she means. Blue is my favorite person ever. I love her more than all the candy in the world.