Page 105 of Vegas with my Brother’s Best Friends

“I’ve needed you lately,” I say quietly. “And you’ve been gone.”

“You just told us to back off,” Tyler replies with a confused shake of his head.

Because I’m scared to let them so close.

But I don’t say that out loud.

“You haven’t even been present enough for me to have to tell you that,” I tell him. “I’ve never seen you be so quiet and distant before. Ever. Do you not want to be a father? I’d rather you tell me upfront if that’s the case.”

Tyler runs his fingers through his hair all the way down to the back of his neck. “I do. I just don’t know if I’m good enough to be one.”

I finally close some of the distance between us, allowing only a few inches to separate us. “You’d be an incredible father, Tyler. You’d always make our baby laugh. You’d show them how to dance and sing and have fun. And you’d be present. You wouldn’t be your parents. You would be there for them no matter what.”

His face softens, and a slight sheen covers his eyes as he gazes at me.

“I’m scared,” he murmurs.

“Me too,” I tell him.

I’m scared to admit my feelings and be left heartbroken. I’m scared that everyone in my life will pity me or judge me. And even if I’m willing to, I’m scared that I’ll have to raise this baby alone.

What if the guys figure out that parenthood with a woman they don’t even love isn’t for them? What if they fall in love with other women and distance themselves from me and our child to build a whole other family?

Like there are so many ways for us to mess up as parents, there are so many ways that I can lose them.

“And I want you to know that I do care about this. I do care about the baby,” Tyler says. “I haven’t been vocal because I don’t care. I just…haven’t known what exactly to say.”

That’s what I figured. It’s just about the baby for them.

I’m glad that they care and want to be involved. I just can’t help but be sad that they don’t want more than a co-parent partnership.

“I’m sure we’ll all sit down and talk about things in a week or so,” I reply as I tear my eyes away from his.

“In a week or so? We don’t have to wait that long.”

I shake my head. “I’ll be so busy with last minute wedding stuff, and I booked a flight home after I do what I need to do at the reception.”

Tyler moves closer, coaxing my eyes up to see the shocked look on his face. “You’re leaving that night? Why not wait until the next day when everyone else leaves?”

“Because leaving earlier is the best thing for me. I doubt Ryan wants me around anymore than I already will be,” I tell him, not diving into all the other reasons behind my decision. “There’s no point in me staying here any longer.”

He frowns. “But—”

“I should go inside. I’m feeling a little too hot,” I interrupt him, pressing the back of my hand against my forehead.

It actually feels fine outside.

Tyler breathes in like he’s going to speak again, but I walk past him and head to the nearest side entrance, feeling his gaze on me the whole time.

I know it isn’t fair of me to punish them for being kind, but there has to be some distance between us. We can’t be as close as I want to because that just puts me at risk of heartache even more.

This pregnancy has been hard enough. I don’t want to deal with a broken heart on top of nausea, body aches, and rollercoaster emotions.

That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Walking inside of the resort is always nerve wracking to me because I’m always afraid that I’m going to run into Ryan. If I see the disappointment on his face again, it’ll shatter me.

I’ve always looked up to him. I strived to be great because of him and all he did for me.