Page 64 of Escape to the Sun

Her voice hitched, and she fell silent as she did her best to deal with the ball of emotion lodged in her throat. Stared at him as his expression became inscrutable. Convinced herself in those seconds that she’d blown it – she’d gone in all guns blazing and thrown caution to the wind and, unlike all those years ago when she’d thrown more than caution to the wind in the Pink Pineapple and had spent thirty years regretting it, there would be nothing about what she’d just said that she would ever regret. Because it was what every fibre of her body wanted.

If only Teddy would reply.

If only he would say something…

33

Hannah woke gloriously slowly – until she realised Louis was gone. She checked the time, disorientated about the unexpected change in his shift pattern.

She was sure he’d said he didn’t need to be on the bridge until later in the morning – and it was only just seven now. If he’d been needed, his radio would have woken her up crackling and fizzing like it had that night in the bar, when she and Louis had been nothing more than acquaintances.

Hannah squashed her head back into the sumptuous pillow. Whatever had happened, she was sure there would be a perfectly simple explanation. Idly she scrolled her phone. Sat up and reread a message, then listened to a voicemail message that had arrived while she’d been sleeping.

‘I know you won’t want to hear about Ian – although for the life of me I don’t understand why, your dad and I are still in bits about the situation – but you will want to hear this…’

Hannah’s mother sounded annoyed and devastated all at once. Her mother was adept at layering emotions into her words, and whatever the additional emotion turned out to be, annoyance was often the front-runner. But this was different. Her mother sounded genuinely distressed.

‘Hannah, he’s been in an accident. On Christmas Day of all days – can you imagine? A car accident. The sun was low and the road was wet. There was spray and reflected light and anyway, long story short, he pulled out onto the dual carriageway by Halfords, and someone just ploughed right into him. Wrote his lovely car off. We got the call just as we were sitting down to the king’s speech. Not that your father is interested in what King Charles has to say particularly, but it’s part of the day, isn’t it? Like Joe watching The Gruffalo five times. Anyway, Ian’s in Moorfield General. It’s his leg. He’s done something to his shoulder too. Maybe collarbone? They had to operate. That’s as much as we know. We’re going to see him tomorrow. It might be nice if you had the decency to call him? Or us? Your brother has missed you very much – it’s not been the same here for Christmas without you.’

Her mother sniffed and her voice softened as the message concluded. ‘Anyway. Just wanted you to know. His mum said he was asking for you when he came round from the anaesthetic. She was crying, Hannah. And you know how stoic Mary is. Phone me.’

Hannah flopped back against the pillows. As much as she hated what had happened between her and Ian, hated how it had gone wrong, she wouldn’t ever wish something like this on him. It surprised her when tears pricked at the edges of her lids and a fat tear rolled slowly across her cheek and into the fabric.

What was the time difference between the Caribbean and home? They were some hours ahead, so her parents might already be on their way to the hospital. Hannah’s finger hovered over the screen; she should phone her mum now. At least acknowledge her message. Work out what she would say when she phoned Ian. Because it felt impossible for her to ignore this – she might have lost faith in the man, but she wasn’t cold enough to blank him under these circumstances.

She phoned her mother, kept the conversation brief while reassuring her that she would call Ian later in the day. Her mother sounded as excited by her decision as she had when Hannah and Ian had announced their engagement.

Which felt a weird mixture of being no more than a few moments ago, but also part of a different lifetime…

No sooner had she put the phone down than it buzzed, still on silent but determined to be noticed, heralding a call from Ruth suggesting they meet for breakfast.

Ruth set down the phone, checking her reflection as she gave her hair a final brush through. Never one for much self-maintenance, somehow this morning was different.

‘Have you put make-up on, Mum?’ Millie said, peering at her in the reflection of the mirror.

‘’Course she has,’ Nathan said. At least, that’s what Ruth thought he said through the foam of toothpaste and the whirring of his electric toothbrush from their cupboard of a bathroom.

‘A bit of blusher maybe,’ Ruth said, dropping her brush into her washbag.

Nathan spat in the bowl, water swishing as he said, ‘Yeah. And the rest. And we all know why.’

Ruth stilled. The previous day had gone so well; their meal together with Teddy had been effortless. But maybe Nathan hadn’t taken their time spent with Teddy in his stride quite as easily as Ruth had hoped.

It might have been cowardly, but Ruth didn’t push Nathan to expand on his comment, nor did she feel now was the time to reveal what Teddy had actually – eventually – said to her. Instead, she busied herself while he used her mouthwash, avoided making a sarcastic quip about why he should be wanting his breath to be so minty fresh, then chivvied her children out of the cabin and into the lift.

It would be another hurdle to be crossed in the unknown land of ‘rekindling a relationship with a very old flame without alienating the children recently deprived of their own father’ – but that was about the top and bottom of it. Teddy had intimated that nothing was off the table. And even though it was still very early days for him in terms of looking for someone new after losing Mai, he’d told her he didn’t want to lose contact again. Didn’t want to let her go, either…

Ruth worried about how Louis might take news of this sort, then decided to put a pin in that thought. She had enough on her plate, for now at least. And, in fact, something fresh had been biting at her overnight – something she felt she had to talk to Hannah about. The fact Hannah was free to join them for breakfast was maybe the cue she needed.

Perhaps today’s breakfast would provide the perfect opportunity.

Having satisfied himself that the engineering team had dealt with the potential fire issue with swift competence, Louis headed back to the bridge with Maria. On the way she slowed, frowning as he glanced at her.

‘Everything all right?’ he asked.

‘I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do, Captain King, but I think it needs to be said.’

‘Call me Louis, for God’s sake, Maria. We’ve known one another for, what, five years? What needs to be said?’