Page 22 of Furthest From Perfect

I watched her chest rise and fall and her little fists clench at her side. “Come here,” I requested in a gentle voice. My intention was not to create strife between us, so being soft was the only solution.

She gulped loudly, glancing toward the door and probably wondering if she could escape first. I couldn’t make the choice for her, so I sat and waited. Waited while every inhale burned like cognac. Waited while tears burned the back of my eyes in fear of what her choice would be. Waited while the future hung in the balance, heavier than a ton of bricks.

Just as I was ready to give up hope, she pivoted toward me and slowly made her way over. I sighed in relief as she got closer. I opened my arms, and she crawled in my lap. While her nose found a home in the crook of my neck, my arms anchored around her just to pull her deeper into my body. One whiff of her perfume was enough to settle my nerves and place me in a lethargic state. No matter what came next, Koi would still have my heart, and she could do whatever she wanted with it—even if her choice was to walk all over it.

I didn’t realize she was crying at first, but her sniffles grew increasingly louder and more violent. “Talk to me,” I begged, in need of her vulnerability. Because honestly, her silence was much scarier than her tears.

“It just all feels too fast,” she confessed in a soft voice. “We just got married and gained partial custody of Skye. I just started working with Galaxy and being able to experience real freedom. And now there’s a baby . . . I’m not sad because this happened; I’m sad because it doesn’t feel like the right time.”

My heartstrings tightened, and I had to rest my forehead on her shoulder to steady myself. Even though I’d decided to accept whatever choice she made, it didn’t feel good to hear. It actually hurt like hell, and as her man, I had to take it on the chin because she was right. I’d come into her life like a wrecking ball that offered one life yet produced something more consuming and all-encompassing. From the day we started, it was all or nothing with us, and we both dove in head fucking first.

My voice was trapped beneath the heaviness weighing on my heart, forcing me to keep quiet. “Like, can you really sit here and say you’re ready to have another child? Ready for more responsibility so soon?”

I slowly lifted my head to find her eyes boring into me with fire. “Even if I wasn’t, I would get ready, Adora. A nigga is blessed, so why would I complain about getting the things I want?” She glanced away, but I still saw a tear cascade down her cheek. I wiped it away then palmed her face to force her to look at me. “Koi Adora, I promise you, I am so serious about us. I need this marriage like a cloud needs rain and a lost child needs a rainbow. I know it’s happening fast, and it feels like too much, but that’s because you haven’t heard my prayers. I’ve been alone for most of my life. Having you, Skye, and potentially another child feels like God finally remembered me.” My voice cracked because I was laying my entire heart on the line right now, and I had no control over how she chose to respond. “I can’t promise you a perfect life, because I’m me, but I can promise you a life you won’t regret when you take your last breath.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until she wiped my tears away. The longer she stared into my eyes, the harder it was to hold it together, and the harder it became to fucking breathe.

“Okay,” she replied so low, I almost thought I dreamt it.

“Huh?”

“I said okay. I believe you,” she said in a steadier and louder tone.

All I could do was cry and nod. “I promise I got you, Koi. I promise I have you and my children. You will have no worries, because I will shoulder them all, so long as you’re the one holding my hand through every storm.”

Bouncing around to Latto’s new song, I made my way over to the floor-length mirror in our closet. Skye was right on my heels, mimicking my every move. I couldn’t lie and say I hated having a daughter, because this little girl had become the apple of my eye.

“Are you going to let me do your hair, Skye?” I asked her once I was sitting on the floor. She shocked me when she nodded and came to plop down in my lap. I giggled because she was so cute. “Do you want two puffballs?”

She was too busy digging her chubby little fingers into the container of rubber bands to pay me any attention. Sitting on my knees, I spritzed her hair to add moisture in it. At three years old, she already had a headful of thick and long hair. It still baffled me that she was a full-blown red head, and it was natural. I took my time with her part and brushing her hair up into puffs. After slicking her edges, I tied her little scarf around her head.

“Y’all ready yet?” Han’some asked from behind us. “I’m not trying to hear her mama’s mouth, so please help me get us there on time.”

I glanced at him over my shoulder. “I just finished her hair. Get her dressed while I do my makeup.”

He walked over to peek at her hair. He ruffled her puffs with a grin. “You look so cute, Skye. You ready to put on your tutu?”

“Yesss!” she cheered excitedly.

He opened his arms, and she jumped into them with ease. The love and trust she had in her father always made my heart swell with joy. I knew my baby would also be blessed with the best dad they could have. Because I was still in the first trimester, we hadn’t shared my pregnancy with anyone yet, but we were planning how to tell my family. My parents were bound to be the most excited about becoming grandparents.

Tonight was Skye’s ballet recital, and since she was currently staying with us, we were responsible for getting her there. Because I didn’t want to cause any issues with Fontana, I did move quickly through my makeup routine. She had been throwing shade online; however, I paid her dust. I saw no use in beefing with a woman who wanted my life. She wasn’t about to destiny-swap with me by feeding off my energy.

Satisfied with my makeup, I removed my bonnet and took out my flexi rods, which brought my weave back to life. Sliding my robe from my shoulders, I dressed in the A-line dress I’d picked out for the day. Even though Han’some and I were married now, I still picked all of his outfits. It was second nature for us after so many years of me doing so. Today, I was matching his outfit, and we wore pink because Skye was too.

I met them in the living room, where he was sliding her feet into her ballet flats. “Aww, Skye.” She looked so adorable in her outfit.

“You look good too.” Han’some never missed an opportunity to compliment me.

I walked closer to him with puckered lips. He never denied me, so his lips pressed into mine. “Thank you, baby. Let’s head out.”

The parking lot at the dance studio was bustling with cars and people. After finding a good parking spot, Han’some hopped out to help his girls out. Skye skipped in the middle, holding both of our hands happily. Well, she was trying to skip and hadn’t fully figured out the body mechanics yet. I snickered lowly then adjusted one of her curls.

“I’ll walk her to the back. Find us some good seats,” Han’some told me once we made it inside. “I need a clear view of the stage so I can record my baby, and they better not have her in the back either.”

“Okay, baby.” I snickered because I knew he was serious. “Good luck, Skye.” I bent down to tickle her arm pits. Her laugh always filled me with peace. She hugged me around the neck before taking her father’s hand and walking away.

I stood up, watching them go, knowing this moment meant everything to my husband. All he ever wanted was to be in his daughter’s life, so being able to share this first with her had him overjoyed. Once they disappeared, I prepared to make my way inside, but a voice behind me halted my steps.