Page 75 of Just Like Summer

After what felt like an eternity of dry heaving, she roamed across the hall to the bed and climbed in. She wasn’t expecting Dania to walk in behind her with a bag of food and another from the pharmacy.

“You’ve been dry heaving since you left,” Dania spoke, sitting by her. “And you won’t eat. That’s probably not the best decision.”

“I don’t want to eat. All these thoughts and flashes. I can’t do anything. It makes me sick.”

“Even for your favorite Chinese?” Dania asked. “I know you’re hungry. But before you eat, maybe you should take this.”

Dania handed Kamilla the brown paper bag.

“What’s this?”

“A pregnancy test. Just to be sure,” Dania shared.

“I’m on the pill. I can’t be pregnant,” Kamilla defended.

“Not always effective. Look at me. Just humor me, then you can eat and we’ll lay here for the rest of the day if you want,” Dania offered. “I’m not leaving you alone. Not now anyway.”

Kamilla wiped a set of lone tears as she pulled the test out. She didn’t offer Dania anything else, she just pushed her way out of the bed and went into the bathroom. Dania waited on the outside, closely listening for any sound Kamilla could make. Almost four minutes later she opened the door and handed Dania the covered test.

“What does it say?” Kamilla asked, not having the heart to look at it.

Dania took it and studied it. “You’re pregnant.”

A flood of tears dropped from Kamilla’s eyes as she chewed the inside of her lip. She quickly wiped them, took the test, and zipped through the house to find Cairo’s keys.

“Where are you going?” Dania asked on her heels.

“I have to tell him. He needs to know,” Kamilla murmured, opening and closing drawers while Dania took the keys she was looking for off the hook.

“Let me drive at least. You’re a mess, K.”

Kamilla was a sight. Red puffy eyes, dry face and hair to match, she’d been wearing some variation of Cairo’s oversized clothes for days.

“You don’t want to fix yourself up?” Dania offered and Kamilla quickly shut down the idea.

“It’s been a week. I need to see him,” Kamilla protested. “I need to tell him.”

Dania yielded, understanding the state Kamilla was in. She drove her to the county jail, walked with inside, checked in with her, and held her hand while she waited. Two hours passed of Kamilla watching families, lawyers, and friends come and go. Visitation was wrapping up and they hadn’t called her name yet. She bounced her leg, ignored her growling stomach and held out hope. Her prayers fell on deaf ears. When the correction officer called out for the last round of visits, Kamilla popped up from her seat and approached the thick bulletproof glass window.

“I’m here to see Cairo Hendrix. I’ve been waiting for almost three hours,” Kamilla softly spoke, her energy slipping from her every passing second.

The correctional officer pecked a couple of keys before looking up into Kamilla’s sad face.

“Ms. Palmer…he has you on a block list,” the correctional officer informed her.

“No, that’s not right. He wouldn’t do that. Why would he do that?” Kamilla questioned, feeling herself losing it. Dania quickened to her. “Why would he block me? I need to see him. It’s important.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t let you go back if the inmate has a visitor block.”

“He’s not an inmate. He’s-”

“K,” Dania softly urged. “Let’s go back to the house and have Nate figure it out.”

“How am I going to tell him, D? How?” Kamilla asked, voice breaking. “How am I supposed to do this without him?”

“We’re going to figure it out okay? I promise you we are. We just can’t do it here. Let me get you home in a hot bath and some food.” Dania wiped the tears and snot from Kamilla’s face. “I got you. I swear I do. We’ll figure it out.”

Tearfully, Kamilla dragged herself to the exit. Inside the car, she looked down at her hands. “I’m going to end up like my mother. I fucked this up. I fucked up. So bad.”