Page 74 of Just Like Summer

The entire time Kamilla was forced out of the house, all she could do was stare at him. And helplessly watch the life she thought she was going to have with him flash before her eyes.

Cairo mouthed, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she muttered. “I’ll steal the moon.”

In the car with Dania, Kamilla watched the back window, the once clear street now full of blue lights.

“Dania, stop!” she croaked. “Please stop! Please.”

Dania stopped, guilt weighing heavily on her that she wasn’t in a position to help Kamilla. Guilt that this didn’t turn out differently. Kamilla got out and jogged to the corner and watched the officers arrest Cairo; watched how easily he gave in. Out of the corner of his eye, he offered her one last soft gaze and then held his head up to the midnight sky. “Moon.”

She nipped her quivering lip and yielded. It took everything in her to drag herself back to the car and not run down the block and plead. Slouched down in the passenger seat, Kamilla pulled the hood of Cairo’s sweatshirt over her head and sobbed. The love that pulled her out of the darkness was gone and she swore she would never have another like it.

twenty-nine

It took them almost a week to process him. Payment for getting off for one crime. A week to get him in front of a judge for a bond hearing. A week without a phone call. A week to be tortured by the thought of leaving Kamilla in the world alone. He knew she wasn’t weak. He also knew that she was created to be the softest version of herself and he feared how life alone would hardened her. If he could go back in time, he would’ve put Martez in the ground immediately after the violation. His misstep, twice, had led to this— Kamilla alone.

He sat in the small visitation room watching Nate maneuver through the families, lawyers, and girlfriends before reaching Cairo.

“Yeah, they fuckin’ with you. Got you in red and shit,” Nate blew jokingly, trying to get his best friend’s mind off of what was next.

“Don’t matter when I’m in the dark twenty-two hours a day. They want me to break. It won’t happen,” Cairo grumbled.

“You too strong for that shit,” Nate encouraged. “Tell me what we need to do.”

“Nothing. Don’t do a fuckin’ thing. You know where the money is, take your cut, get the rest to Kamilla. She has to go to school; it’s not even a question. Don’t let her come here, don’t let her use it to get me a lawyer. I’m pleading guilty.”

“Nigga, what?” Nate semi-barked before looking over his shoulder. “We can get you a lawyer.”

“No. I’m taking the public defender. I made a promise to let her go. I’m letting her go,” Cairo spoke evenly. “I’m going to be sitting for a long time. She cannot sit and wait on me. I know she will and I can’t have that on my head. You hear me?”

Nate nodded and swallowed the lump in this throat. For a moment, he dropped his head to let a tear fall before straightening his posture. “On Azul, I got you. I’ll look after her too. I’m a call away. I got you, and that’s on my life.”

“I know you do, Nate. You got a good heart, nigga. I’ll holla at you before they move me,” Cairo spoke, keeping his tears tucked away. “Fahaad is bringing you the money. Same shit applies. Your cut, the rest to Kamilla.”

“You don’t want nothing?”

“Nothing.”

Nate peered at him. “Why?”

Cairo pulled in a deep breath and slowly blew it out. “I should’ve told her the second I realized who she was about my part in her father being gone. A lot of shit doesn’t scare me. Losing her – losing some magic a nigga caught and never fuckin’ deserved— scared me. I’m paying for withholding that.”

“Nigga, that shit ain’t on you,” Nate spoke. “That’s on Martez and his bitch ass almost daddy. Not on you.”

“It’s on me. It’s been on me. I fucked this up,” Cairo admitted. “I’ve done a lot of shit in my life, the only thing I regret is that night and not telling her.”

“You know she hasn’t said nothing about it. In fact, she’s been trying to figure out how to get you home. You got a good girl, nigga,” Nate shared.

“I know,” Cairo said, clenching his jaw. “She forced me to fly. You gotta make sure she pours into her dream. If you don’t do shit else for me.”

“I got you.”

They talked for another twenty minutes about Dania’s checkup and the excitement of being a father. Nate even bestowed the honor of Cairo being his unborn child’s godfather on him. When the visit was over, Cairo returned to the dark, tapping his fingers on the mattress and forcing himself to remember every contour of her face. It would be the only thing to get him through.

thirty

She couldn’t take another day on Nate and Dania’s couch so she forced herself to find a sense of direction and go back to Cairo’s. Aunt J hadn’t called nor was Kamilla surprised that she hadn’t. Cairo hadn’t called and she’d been desperate to hear his voice. She knew better. It was over. The constant loops of thoughts and flashes made her sick. Hoovered over the toilet, she heaved, there was nothing to throw up. She hadn’t ate – had no appetite. She was back in the same position she was in before she met Cairo.