Page 171 of The Mistress of All & Torn

“Richard and I will both take care of her, always. She will receive the best treatment if she needs it. She was brave enough to tell me she expects herself to die young, like my mother. And that was another reason for choosing Richard. She said she did not wish to trap me at her side, as I was free to choose a wife to my liking any time. But Richard could not afford it, so a marriage of convenience would suit them both. And if she dies, he will inherit her fortune and be happy afterwards. She told me all of this with perfect serenity.”

“Oh, dear Lord!” Elizabeth exclaimed, suffering for her admirable friend.

“Anne is quite remarkable,” Darcy admitted. “My only demand of Richard was to make her a blissful marriage, and I am sure he will.”

They were talking like two trusted friends when suddenly a revelation struck Elizabeth, and a sharp claw clutched at her chest.

“So, you are not marrying Anne?” She could barely hear her own weak voice.

“No.”

She looked at him, their eyes unwilling to leave each other’s, then she unexpectedly hurried to her feet. He would not marry Anne, so she did not have to worry for her friend. He would not marry Anne, she repeated to herself. This is why he hurried to me in the middle of the night.

“So what will you do now?” she enquired. “I know you will go to London. You must.”

“I will go to London with Richard. But I may return if you wish me to. I am free to speak my mind. I am free to love you. No, that is untrue. I have loved you for a long time already. I am free to admit my love to you and to profess it aloud.”

“Please do not say that,” she interrupted him, turning her back to him. “I am begging you.”

“Forgive me. I know I have no right to speak so, as I have no right to be here. I know you are not free to listen to my words. I am not even sure whether you are willing to accept them.”

She found the courage to face him again, and he gently took her hands. She did not withdraw them, although she knew she should.

“I am not free to listen to your words, sir, but I am grateful and happy to hear them. I have never felt such joy, nor such sadness.”

He brought her hands to her chest.

“What do you want me to do? Tell me,” he pleaded.

“Whatever you wish to. As you said, you are free.”

“I want to stay with you. But I shall leave at once if you want me to. Whatever you choose. I know I have no right to be here,” he repeated. “I have no right to hold your hands.”

“I could not possibly ask you to stay, but I do not wish you to leave. Not now. You will leave tomorrow. But now, I would like a little more time. Only a little more.”

“I will stay until you send me away. But we must find a more secluded place. We might be seen from the house if someone searches for you.”

“I am not ashamed to be seen with you,” she declared. It was the truth, and there was even a drop of hope in that statement.

Her hands were still in his, close to his chest. He pressed his lips upon her wrists, briefly, tenderly, softly, and she allowed her hands to be spoilt by his caresses.

“Could we go somewhere private? Only for a little while,” she pleaded, blushing at her daring.

He kissed her palms. “Of course. There are so many paths through the grove—wherever you choose.”

He finally released her hands, and she regretted the loss of his touch.

“But what if they come to look for you?” he repeated. “To me, it would matter not. I will selfishly admit that I pray this is our fate.”

“I make my own decisions, and even if they are poor, I bear the consequences. It makes me happy to speak to you. I cannot return home, nor ask you to leave. Not yet.” Her voice trembled, but her determination was apparent.

“Should we stay here?” he offered.

“Anywhere will do. If it were not so far away, I would go back to the bay, but it would take the entire night to walk there and return.” She sat, staring at the sea. She did not know what she wanted; her heart was still heavy, and her mind blurred. It was warm, and not even the smallest breeze came to cool her.

He was still standing, staring at her, and her eyes lifted to his.

“Do you trust me?” he enquired, and she startled, then nodded.