Page 142 of The Mistress of All & Torn

“More! Even now, as you speak, your voice sounds heavy, bitter, empty. I do worry for you, and I shall keep an eye on you.”

“Do as you wish.” Darcy shrugged.

“You know, Bingley is worried about you too.”

“Bingley should take care of his wife, not me.”

“Well, it seems he does. Mrs Bingley is with child, and she looks stunning. Marriage suits her quite well,” the colonel declared.

Darcy said nothing. Any subject involving Jane Bingley brought him dangerously close to hearing Elizabeth’s name.

“I hope marriage will suit Miss Bennet too, although that can hardly be expected,” the colonel said, leaning back in his chair. He emptied his glass, filled it again, then resumed his languor.

“Everybody speaks of Alveston’s engagement. There are wagers about who tricked who into this arrangement. Did Lady Kendal convince Miss Bennet to entertain her grandson till the end for an appropriate settlement, or did Miss Bennet use her charms and impose herself on Lord Alveston and his grandmother to benefit from an early widowhood? Can you imagine her five years from now? Beautiful, witty, more mature, and extremely rich. Every man in England will be fighting for her favour.”

Darcy jumped to his feet, casting his cousin a furious look.

“You should be ashamed to make such comments and speculations about a young lady who you claim to be a friend! How dare you involve yourself in such abominable conversations? Do you have no decency? Did you consider for a moment what must be in Lady Kendal’s heart? Instead of wagering, did you consider how it would be for a young man to fear his death every day? Are any of you involved in Lady Kendal’s charities? Are you aware of the responsibilities that Miss Bennet is taking upon herself? More than you and your self-indulgent friends would be able to manage all together! Do you not think that all three of them deserve some respect?”

The colonel stared at his cousin with his eyes and mouth wide open. He had never seen Darcy so angry. His face was crimson, and his violent glares threw fire as he paced around.

“For heaven’s sake, Darcy, what has come over you? It was just a joke, like we have always shared together. I meant no disrespect.”

“No disrespect? Did you lose your mind at the party? What would you call your earlier comment?”

“I apologise…truly... I spoke carelessly only because it was you. You know I am more guarded in company. I did not imagine you might take such offence—”

“You should not have to be more guarded, Richard! You should simply not entertain such shameful thoughts about people who deserve our consideration! As for an early widowhood, as you said, none of us is safe! Any of us could suffer an accident at any time. Simply because we are healthier does not make us any safer from danger. Only God knows what is written for each of us.”

The colonel grew irritated.

“Your scolding is unfair, Darcy. Surely you remember how disdainfully you used to speak about Miss Bennet’s family and how delighted you were last year that you separated Bingley from Jane. It seems you have changed your mind in the meantime. Do not preach and do not rebuke me like I am a schoolboy!”

“Then do not behave like one. I do remember what I said, and I regret my ridiculous pride. God knows I received my punishment… But even so, can you see no difference between my objective censure of one’s manners or situation in life and your malicious gossip and wicked insinuations?”

“As I said, I apologise. I do admire Miss Bennet, and I would do nothing to hurt her. I should go now and allow you to calm yourself. I can see you are in a strange mood today.”

“Yes, you should. I wonder if you wager about my engagement to Anne too,” Darcy said, throwing the last painful arrow.

The colonel stared.

“I cannot believe you said that—”

“And why not?” Darcy asked, his ire still impossible to control. “Why is my engagement to Anne any different from Lord Alveston’s to Miss Bennet?”

“I shall go now, Darcy, before more hurtful words are said. I shall pretend I did not visit you today.”

“Please do so. But I cannot promise to do the same. I did not expect that from you, Richard.”

“Nor I from you, Darcy. Good day,” he said, shutting the door behind him.

Alone in the library, Darcy threw his glass into the fireplace, where it shattered into a thousand pieces. He felt angry and offended on Elizabeth’s behalf, although he knew the rumours to exist. And to be somewhat justified.

His cousin held no blame in starting the gossip. Perhaps he should have reacted more tactfully. More calmly. More reasonably. After all, it was not his duty to protect her reputation by arguing with his cousin. But for many months, Darcy had not been reasonable in anything related to Elizabeth. And likely he would not be in the future either.

∞∞∞

In the last days of May, Lady Kendal, Lord Alveston, and their servants travelled to Brighton. Two more carriages followed, one shared by Elizabeth, Jane, and Bingley, and the other one by the Gardiners.