Page 103 of Honorable Sins

"Yes. There was a day when I wanted to turn everything off. You found me, Michael. You saved me. But I'm not that woman anymore and I have nothing to fear from a sleeping pill. You have nothing to fear from me taking a sleeping pill."

"You don't need sleeping pills to sleep, though mo chiste is a stór."

"No. I do not. Between you and our children I am plenty exhausted at the end of the day and ready to sleep." I used to go to sleep long before Mick and he would always wake me up when he came in from work.

He doesn't work so late anymore. We have dinner with the family and spend most of our evenings with our children. Sometimes one or both of us has to work in the evenings, but it's very rare.

So, we go to bed together. A lot of times we make love before we go to sleep, but if we don't, my insatiable husband still wakes me up in the middle of the night and connects our souls while our bodies join.

"This isn't about me needing to sleep. It's about trust. Me, trusting you and you trusting me."

His brow rises in question. "How is it about me trusting you?"

"First, you trust me to take a sleeping pill and you believe that I found the right one with the right dosage and that nothing bad will happen to me because I take it. Second, you trust me enough to touch me in the ways that you want to while I'm sleeping and know that because I have said that is what I want, it is what I want."

Understanding dawns in Mick's gorgeous, emerald eyes. "It is about me trusting you. And I do Kara. With everything in me."

"I know."

"And you trust me. Even knowing the man without a conscience that lives in my brain, you trust yourself to be completely at my mercy."

It’s not a question. Mick knows I trust him this way.

"You say I’m your conscience. I’m not sure I believe that. I think at least when it comes to me and our children you have a built-in conscience. You always want what’s best for us. You would never do anything to me while I was unconscious that you wouldn’t do to me conscious."

"But when you’re conscious, you can safe word."

"Your need to protect and care for me is my safe word, Michael. I know you would never take this too far.

"You’re right. I won’t. The trust you put in me when you allow me to handcuff you to the bed is more of a gift than a man like me deserves."

"That’s not true. You are the best man I know. The world is full of monsters, but you’re a monster who has never, and will never prey on the innocent." He’s my gargoyle and I love him exactly as he is.

Mick still has moments even around me when there is no emotion in him at all. No compassion, regret or concern for his actions. Mick will do whatever it takes as long as it keeps me and the children safe and keeps our mob strong so he can keep us even safer.

What I have come to understand is that I will do the same.

Love can be more ruthless than anything spurred on by hatred.

"Being completely at your mercy is the safest place I'll ever be."

"It is," Mick promises as he takes the blue pill from me. "How long until it takes effect?"

"According to the doctor, I should start feeling sleepy in about thirty minutes. Once I go to sleep, it should keep me asleep…even if my partner does a lot of tossing and turning in the bed."

Mick grins. "That's what you told her? I'm a restless sleeper."

"No one would expect anything different from a man in your position." Though they'd be wrong.

Mick wakes easily when roused, even in the middle of the night, but he sleeps easily and deeply, no matter what's going on in our lives.

I wonder if that's a result of the ASPD?

"Thirty minutes should be enough time." Mick walks toward the mini fridge disguised as a cabinet complimentary in style to our old world, polished mahogany bedroom set.

His mouthwatering erection bobs with each step, pre-ejaculate already beaded on the bulbous tip.

"Enough time for what?"