Page 102 of Honorable Sins

Even a year ago, I couldn't have made the offer I'm about to. And I'm pretty sure that Mick wouldn't have expected it.

But it's time to let go of the remnants of the past still clinging to our life together.

A cauldron of emotion bubbles inside me seasoned with hope, excitement and trepidation.

My heart races and I have to concentrate on my breathing so I don't start panting. That's nothing new in this bedroom with my husband's now naked body in front of me.

Only, there's as much fear as anticipation bubbling in my veins like champagne.

What if he doesn't really want this? What if he won't be okay with it because he's still worried about my mental health? I mean, the man is always going to worry about me. He says his heart doesn't beat without me.

Once, I would have dismissed that as fanciful.

I don't anymore.

I'm that necessary to the man who is the very air that I breathe too.

Tonight is about more than me showing my trust for my husband. It's about Mick confirming his trust in me and the woman I have become. Him accepting the gift I want to give him acknowledges the things I have overcome. Not just learned to live with, but moved beyond.

What if he doesn't think I've come as far as I have? Where is that thought even coming from?

Why am I so scared there's terror sweat trickling down the center of my back?

Because everything we built together in this marriage of ours, the one in which my sociopath loves me and I love him as he is, not the charming Irish mask he puts on for the rest of the world. It's not real if he doesn't trust me to give him this gift.

If he balks at me taking the pill in my hand then how real is any of that?

"Are you wearing my present?" Mick's fiery gaze heats the air between us.

I could drop the pill to the carpet and play it off as if the sheer red bustier and thong I'm wearing under my Christmas green dress are the present and not window dressing for it.

But that would be shortchanging both Mick and myself.

If I really trust him, I have nothing to worry about. If he is the man I believe him to be, I have nothing to fear. Not rejection of my gift, not even hesitation in accepting it.

Swallowing against a suddenly dry throat, I open my palm and offer the blue pill to Mick.

He looks down and sees what I'm holding. Then, his eyes flick to my face, no expression showing on his. "What is that, Kara?"

"It's a…" I have to clear my throat. "It's a sleeping pill."

"You want me to take a sleeping pill?" He doesn't look upset. Well, he doesn't look anything, but then he gives me a sexy leer. "Is this your version of the blood pressure meds your mamo gave you in your wedding box? Are you hinting that my marital attentions are too vigorous?"

A laugh bursts out of me at the ludicrousness of that idea. We both know how very much I love his marital attentions. All the anxiety at what his response will be to my gift drains out of me as happiness starts to burble inside me along with my amusement.

"It's for me." I take a step closer to him, inhaling the scent that is only Mick. Safety. Lust. Love. Everything I need. "You want to ravish my body while I sleep and I want you to do that."

His nostrils flare and suddenly there's an extra spice in the air between us. Mick's arousal.

I smile, knowing I've got him. He wants this. "It's something you fantasize about and you have given me every fantasy I ever had."

"You are my fantasy, Kara. It doesn't matter what we do in bed together. You are my fantasy."

"I believe you." And I do. If I didn't, I'm not sure I would be offering what I am. "But I want to give you this."

"You want to take a sleeping pill, so you don't wake up while I'm ravishing you." The devil's smile he gives me sends heat zinging straight to my core.

He doesn't look worried. He doesn't look like I'm offering him poison. He looks amused and intrigued and yep, definitely turned on.