Page 453 of Call Me Baby 2: Side B

in front of the Christmas tree.

Maybe that’s where he’d open it,

in the place I left.

I envision him being careful with the wrapping paper. I don’t know why, but I can’t imagine Drew being the type to tear into gifts.

He’d take his time. He’d hold his breath.

Then he’d lift the box’s lid.

And his expression would fall younger, turning into the nine-year-old boy all over again. The one who only ever wanted the Jordan 4 White Cement. The one who drew pictures of it so his moms didn’t mess up.

I imagine his eyes as he stares down at them, in love the same way he first saw them through that shoe store window.

“Merry Christmas, Drew,” I whisper.

// 1:45 PM //

Google: my boy who’s a friend said he needed space then says he won’t continue with my contract (I made for my boundaries), what is probability we survive this relationship?

The probability of surviving this relationship

is near 0%.

Then my phone dies.

Goes pitch-black.

Reflects the face of a failure.

// 2:48 PM //

“So after I sing the first line, you’d think Raymond would follow up, right?

“Wrong.

“Try Teddy Vale, Mom.

“Like I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

I shake my head.

“Of course this happens to me… Soon as I find Andrew, Life throws me Teddy like—‘I forgot I’m supposed to be makin’ shit hard for you.’ My apologies. Here, lemme rip away both.”

// 2:54 PM //

My head falls back against the tree.

“So yeah… if I can’t have Drew.

“Then I don’t want anyone,” I say,

shrug… “Except for Teddy Vale.”

I snap a twig in half,

toss it into the snow.