Page 378 of Call Me Baby 2: Side B

The dress hits the floor,

an expensive puddle at my feet.

All that remains of me are panties,

goosebumps,

and a life I’m sick and tired of living,

stuck in the skin of a girl

I don’t want to be.

I leave the dress and walk around the bed, climb in, and lie on my stomach, my hard nipples pressing against the cold sheets.

I slide my arms under my pillow and turn my head away from him, facing the city, where the skyline glitters like stars.

I should wash my face, brush my teeth, do the whole twelve-step nighttime routine, but I can’t be awake for another second without wanting to cry or fuck my way out of my skin.

Gunshots ring out from the TV.

In the movie,

Henry throws a lamp at his wife.

‘Get outta my life,’ she screams.

Then him: ‘You’re fucked up in the head Karen. This is all in your mind.’

Her: ‘You’re a lousy bastard.’

Him: ‘You got a problem.’

Henry Hill walks out on her.

Their dog barks around their toxic shit.

The city swims behind my burning eyes,

sleep never taking me.

Eventually, it does take Andrew, though.

He goes under in phases.

His breathing changes first

as he loses the fight.

He sinks into the pillow.

The room falls quiet around him.

I wait, and I wait,

then I turn to face him.

He’s on his side, facing me,