Page 202 of Risking the Pucking Defense

I blink, and my apartment building appears before me.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“Any time,” she says, killing the engine and reaching for the door handle.

“No,” I say, my voice serious. “I don’t just mean for this. I mean…for not giving up on me. I know I haven’t been very easy to be friends with. But you’ve stuck around, and…I really appreciate it.”

“Hailee,” she breathes, her eyes glistening with tears already. “We’ve got to stick together. We’re family now.” She reaches for my hand and squeezes tightly. “We all need people around us. Sometimes, it just takes a while to find the right ones.”

“Yeah,” I agree, forcing the word past the lump in my throat.

Just like me, Bea walked away from the family she was born into with nothing but strength and determination.

We were brave enough to stand up for ourselves and break the bullshit cycles we were being dragged into. Our families can live their lives however they see fit. But us? We want better. We want real. Real relationships, real purpose. We want happiness and laughter, and to be surrounded by those who will build us up, not beat us down.

“Come on, let’s go and get you sorted before I have a full-on emotional breakdown,” Bea says before finally pushing the door open and climbing out.

In only a few short minutes, we’re inside my apartment.

“Make yourself comfortable. I won’t be long.”

I hurry into my bedroom and pull open the drawer where my swimsuits are.

In my head, I know which one I’m selecting. A navy blue and white one-piece that covers enough skin to almost be professional. But when I reach in, that one isn’t the one that my fingers grab.

I hold my red bikini up and swallow thickly.

Hayden would love it.

My heart thumps against my ribs at the thought of showing off this much of myself while surrounded by the team.

In a rush, I rummage through the drawer again, remembering that when I bought it, I ordered two sets of bottoms. One that I would keep hidden from the public, and another that’s almost passable.

“Bingo,” I hiss, pulling the slightly larger piece of red fabric from the depths of the drawer.

It’ll still be small and show off a lot of skin, but at least my ass with its cellulite dimples won’t be on full display.

Stripping out of my work clothes, I pull the two-piece on, then shimmy a denim skirt up my legs and push my arms into a long shirt that will double as a cover-up.

I twist my curls up into a messy bun on top of my head and secure it with a couple of clips before shoving my feet into a pair of flip flops, throwing some essentials like sunscreen and underwear into a huge tote, and with one final look at myself in the mirror, I head back out.

Bea whistles in appreciation the second she sees me. “Oh, hell yes, girl.”

Swiping my sunglasses from the kitchen counter where I last abandoned them, I slip them onto my head and suck in as much courage as I can muster.

“Ready?” Bea asks, getting to her feet.

“I have no idea, but we’re doing this.”

She squeals in excitement. “You have no idea how happy I am for you. And you can trust us all. I promise you.”

“I know.” And I do know. The guys I work with daily are some of the kindest, most trustworthy people I’ve ever met. They’ve proven time and time again just how fiercely loyal they are to each other. I just need to trust that I’m included in their inner circle and embrace what’s to come. It’s either that or I force Hayden to continue keeping our relationship from some of his best friends, from the world, and that’s not fair.

I’ve lived so much of my life in the shadows. It’s time to step out and show the world who I really am, consequences be damned.

Despite trying to stop it, my knee bounces all the way to Coach’s house. Bea keeps glancing over, but I think she’s as aware as I am that there’s nothing she can say that will relax me. I just need to hold my head high, pull on my big-girl pants, and walk in there as if I belong.

Oh God, I’m going to vomit.