Page 201 of Risking the Pucking Defense

“That’s good, because I’m pretty sure he fell for you a while ago. That boy is besotted.”

My heart beats a little faster as I think of all the ways he’s shown me just how true that is. He’s done more for me in a few short weeks than those who are meant to love me unconditionally.

Thoughts of him there alone despite being surrounded by people make me second-guess everything.

Over the past few weeks, he’s done everything he can to prove to me that I’m the most important person in his life. He’s vowed to show me my worth, to listen to me, to show me that my voice and opinions are important.

And I’ve…

“We need to go,” I state, slamming my laptop closed and pulling it from the desk, slipping it into my purse.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna need you to go by my place, though. I’m gonna need my swimsuit.”

“Yes, girl. Anything.”

She lets me go ahead and trails after me as I step out of my office.

Maisie gives me a double-take, and one look into my eyes has her wincing.

“I’m sorry, Miss Caldwell. Miss Walsh said that⁠—”

“It’s okay, Maisie. Please can you take messages for me. If anything urgent comes in, I’ll have my cell, but I’m going to be out of the office for the rest of the day.”

“No problem, Miss Cald⁠—”

“Please, call me Hailee,” I say with a smile.

“Uh, yeah, Of c-course, H-Hailee.”

With a nod, I take off, hurrying down the hallway toward the elevator.

“That was hilarious. She’s terrified of you.”

“I’m not that scary,” I muse.

“Uh…yeah, you are. You have grown-ass NHL players quaking in their boots. I’m pretty sure they’re more scared of you than they are Coach.”

“That’s ridiculous.” I scoff, but deep down, I kinda love it.

I love proving those from my past wrong and holding this position that they believe should be filled by a man.

The drive to my house is full of stories of what the guys have been up to all afternoon at Coach’s place. I can’t help but smile as Bea talks about them all playing with the kids. For as much as they might all be big, strong, and pretty scary, they’re also massive teddy bears when it comes to their teammates’ kids.

I hated sitting at my desk, imagining them all laughing and joking together. I desperately wanted to be there.

Was I self-sabotaging? Yes, probably.

I still can’t get my head around the fact that I could deserve all this happiness after years of convincing myself that I wasn’t destined to find it.

Trusting those around me is hard. I’ve been burned so badly, but I can see that allowing myself to do it will only improve my life.

In the last few weeks, I’ve laughed more than I can ever remember doing, whether that’s with Hayden, or Bea and the girls. It really is changing everything I thought I knew about what I needed.

I love my job, and I’m so fucking proud of what I’ve achieved. But I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t something missing. I tried ignoring it, smothering it with more work and pushing harder, but it’s always been there.

“Here we go,” Bea says, dragging me from my thoughts.