Page 39 of Brutal Captivity

“It’s okay. I wasn’t trying to be rude or anything. I know most people don’t really recognize people who don’t label themselves, but yeah. I just never really found one that fits,” I reply, my voice also low. It was very sweet of Leo to apologize, though. Most people don’t. Back when I had friends, they would purposefully call me gay even though I had told them all a dozen times I don’t like labels.

“That makes complete sense. You are valid regardless of what anyone says. I really am sorry for assuming, and I promise it won't happen again. I identify as gay, by the way.” Leo touches his own chest, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

I smile at him, and Leo returns it with one of his own. The most genuine smile Leo has ever given me when he wasn’t laughing at something I had said. This smile feels like it’s just for me, and I wish I could put it in my pocket and keep it forever. It warms me down to my bones.

“Have a seat boys.” Kiki ushers us into a very small office. The desk is overflowing with papers, the wall covered with pictures of teenagers that have come and gone.

I inspect a few of them, wondering where they are now. Do they have homes? Are they in another shelter? Are they even alive? I find one that has two very familiar faces: Leo and Daron. Leo has his arm slung around Daron’s shoulders, smiling up at the camera. Daron has bright blond hair, dark roots showing. Iwant to get closer, but I can’t without seeming like I am being nosy since it is behind the desk.

“I’m here to make a donation.” Leo smiles, handing the backpack over to Kiki across the desk. “There should be around 75Gs give or take. I would have come sooner, but I’ve been busy with other things.” Leo glances over at me for a split second before he smiles again at Kiki. I try not to react to the amount of money Leo had in that bag. Kiki doesn’t look surprised at all, takes the backpack and places it somewhere behind her desk.

“I’m so glad you came. We were starting to run low on funds. Some of our grants have ended, and we weren’t able to get them renewed.” She smiles tightly, as if wanting to pretend everything is okay.

“Yeah…the government doesn't always care if homeless programs don’t get funded.” Leo shakes his head sadly. Anger rushes through my system. What the heck? I had no idea that it was an issue. I don't follow politics, but I want to. I want to vote for people that care. That will make a difference. Put money where it needs to go.

“I don’t know what I would do without your constant donations. This place probably would have shut down by now if it wasn’t for you.” Kiki snaps me out of my internal rant.

“You’d figure out a way. You always did.” Leo smiles at her, eyes crinkling in the corner.

“It’s not easy. There’s always a chance. I’d hate to see where that would leave these kids. They aren’t safe on the streets, especially with this weather.”

“I remember all too well.” Leo chuckles as if it’s funny that he almost froze to death as a teenager living on the streets.

“Thank you so much, Leo. I wish there was a way I could repay you,” she says, her dark brown eyes beginning to water with emotion.

“Kiks, you know that you don’t have to thank me. This is my way of repaying you for everything you’ve done for me over the years. It’s the least I can do. You know I’d do anything to help you keep a roof over these kids’ heads and keep them fed,” Leo responds, his head bowing as his cheeks flush. He very clearly doesn’t like praise. It seems to make him uncomfortable. He looks human in this moment, smiling and blushing like a young boy whose mother complimented him. He looks young again, and it hurts my chest. I’m so confused by Leo.

I get lost in my thoughts as Kiki and Leo talk for a few more minutes, discussing the shelter and finances. Leo seems to have a bigger role than I had initially thought, but that still doesn’t explain everything to me.

How did Leo get involved? Why does he treat Kiki like a mom instead of a business partner? If this is the shelter Leo had spoken of last night, then perhaps he sees Kiki as a mother figure. That still doesn't explain how he ended up here, though. My head spins with unanswered questions, and if I don't get answers soon, I may be lost forever, spiraling into oblivion. I try to not forget why I was angry, but it’s so difficult when Leo is being so… human.

“Well, Kiki, I’m starving, so we’re gonna get going. It was great catching up. I trust you know what to do with the cash.” Leo stands up from his seat.

My head snaps to attention, the wooden legs of the chair scraping loudly across the concrete floor. I follow him, standing up awkwardly. I have barely said two words since I came here, but I don't know whattosay. I have gone through the entire register of emotions today, and I have somehow ended up somewhere between confused and overwhelmed.

“Okay. Don’t be a stranger, babe, and yes, I know what to do with the money. I’m well versed in this. You’ve been doing it long enough, and you’ve taught me well,” she assures, a smile on her face.

She walks around the desk with her arms open wide towards Leo. He smiles and accepts the hug, bending down and gripping her tight, his face squished between her neck and her shoulder. It dawns on me that this is a normal occurrence. Leo often comes to make a ‘donation’, and I’m not sure what to do with this information.

“I won’t,” Leo responds, stepping back.

“It was nice meeting you, Cali. Take care of this one. Okay?” Her dark eyes meet mine. I stumble for a few seconds, unsure of what to say. Leo looks embarrassed again, opening his mouth to answer, but I beat him to it.

“I will. He certainly needs looking after,” I reply with a small laugh. Leo’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline at my words. I’m shocked, too, if I’m honest with myself. I have no idea what prompted me to say it.

I think it has something to do with the look in her kind eyes, like a worried mother. My heart aches because I don’t ever recall seeing that look in my own mother’s eyes. The next thing I know, she is hugging me, her warm arms wrapping around me in an embrace. I am so surprised by the touch, it takes me a few moments to hug her back as I avoid Leo's gaze.

With one final goodbye, we leave her in the cluttered office, and I continue to avoid Leo's eyes. I don't know how to feel. I don't know what to think. I now understand what Leo was planning to do with the stolen money, though, and I can’t decide what’s right.

On one hand, he stole the money from a man that probably worked hard for it, but, at the same time, he gave it to someone who needed it. My thoughts are all over the place with questions that I don’t have moral answers to. I have never felt so baffled by a situation in my life. It still doesn’t change the fact that he killed someone, but I find myself wondering why and not automatically thinking about how wrong it is.

“Leo! Leo! Hi! How are you!? I haven’t seen you in so long!” A voice greets Leo enthusiastically, snapping me out of my thoughts. The voice is coated with a thick inner-city accent and is rough, almost as if it is out of tune but in perfect harmony at the same time. It’s the exact same accent Leo carries, and it immediately makes me wonder how he knows this kid.

“Hey, Ollie! It’s good to see you, too!” Leo returns with a huge smile, hugging Ollie. He steps away from the hug, eyeing me critically. I barely resist the urge to squirm again. “Ollie, this is my friend, Cali. Cali, this is Ollie. I’ve known them for a few years now.”

It's only then that the sheer oddity of what Ollie is wearing finally registers. A black and white striped shirt, a rip in the left arm. A button that says they/them gleams in the low light of the room. They have paired the shirt with black pants, silver chains hanging off of them at random. They have a silver necklace that is connected with a small padlock. They have an interesting sense of style, but I find I don't hate it.

“Nice to meetcha,” Ollie says with a wave, but there isn’t any friendliness in their tone or gesture. Their full lips are pulled into a sneer, the black lipstick painted there is smeared, almost as if they meant to do it. The eyeliner around their greenish eyes is also smeared, and their dark hair is matted and sticking up in all directions. I look between them, realizing that Ollie may have a crush on Leo despite the fact that Leo is probably at least 10 years their senior. Leo seems oblivious to this, and it’s kind of cute.