Page 38 of Own It

“Yes, he was. He just wanted to know everything that was going on, and I kept it simple telling him you were fine and that I had a handle on it. He seemed to accept that, but I don’t know the boy like that.”

“Oh.” I was surprised to hear that Shaun just went along with shit. No, I didn’t want him trying anything, because I was sure Rakim would murder him, but damn. “Alright.”

“Yes. We are all waiting for you, but it is good to know you are unharmed, baby.”

“I am,” I whispered, still too caught up in my thoughts about Shaun.

“Aight. I’ll hit you in a few days, nigga.” Rakim took the phone, then ended the call by closing the phone before my father could even attempt to protest.

There was silence, me swimming through my thoughts while Rakim broke down the phone, per usual.

Not wanting to think about Shaun and his reaction to me just disappearing, I said, “I enjoyed that new book you gave me. We kind of have our own book club in a sense.”

He smirked, shockingly, keeping his eyes on the task at hand. “You always read for fun, or that’s some shit you picked up while being here?”

“I always read but not as much as I do now since there isn’t anything else to do. I miss being able to lay out and read, though, so that part is nice. Do you read often?”

“I used to.” He dropped the pieces of phone into the black trash can. “Not so much anymore. I rarely have time for any type of leisure shit.” He sat on the edge of the desk, long legs still reaching the floor as he started piecing together a whole new phone. He was good with his hands.

“How did you find this last book? It was really good and right up my alley.”

“Looked up some black romance books and ordered them muthafuckas.” He chuckled cutely, making me do the same just from looking at him.

His smile was nice, but his grin, the one showing his teeth, was beautiful like the rest of him. Even the deep, jagged scar under his eye went perfectly with every other feature of his.

I couldn’t help the flattering feeling within me, hearing he’d researched something for me to read. The gesture was small and simple but thoughtful. As mean and abrasive as he was, Rakim was a thoughtful man. Everything he did was for someone else, I was noticing, making me wonder if he did anything for himself.

“Rakim, how is all of this supposed to end? I know my father was tasked to save your cousin but from being around doctors all of my life, I know it can go either way, no matter how good the doctor is. My dad can do everything in his willpower and it could not be enough.”

“You want the real answer or something like what you be reading in them books?”

“Real, please.” I adjusted myself on the bed to get comfortable.

“If my cousin dies, Daylin, so will you.” He set the now built phone off to the side and stared into my eyes.

I couldn’t help the aghast expression I knew I was wearing. I didn’t know why I thought Rakim would soften toward me and change his mind on the outcome of this situation, but I should’ve known better.

“I’m an innocent person, Rakim. I’m a good person, too, for the most part, and for me to die because of something that happens naturally every day isn’t right.” I defended myself.

He stood from the desk and started toward me, grabbing a chair on the way to sit before me. Inhaling deeply, his cologne danced up my nose, and though usually pleasant, the smell was eerie right now as I realized I was conversing and staring into the eyes of my possible killer.

“Talid was minding his business before cancer just decided to invade his body, just like you were.” He shook his head in frustration, then said, “Yo’ pops is one of those muthafuckas who feels like everyone else’s life is meaningless and expendable. And shit like death or suffering doesn’t matter so long as it’s not anyone he gives a fuck about. The muthafucka went on vacation, Daylin. Vacation, knowing my cousin was dying.” His thick brows furrowed before he asked, “You know how fucking sick in the head you gotta be to do some shit like that?”

I could visibly see the disappointment and hurt in Rakim’s eyes, and I hated that I felt for him. Additionally, it sickened me that my father was one of those people. I shouldn’t have been surprised, though, because on occasion, my dad would speak on people’s diagnosis or gruesome hospital deaths the same cavalier way that he told my mother what he wanted in his coffee.

“I’m sorry.” I finally found some words to say.

Sighing and calming down some, he replied, “I want yo’ pops to understand what it feels like having the life of someone you love be in the hands of another fucking person. And how everything they do can change whether the person you love lives or dies. Maybe that’ll make the nigga take his job more fucking seriously.”

I nodded because I couldn’t even argue with that. My father had saved lives, but he’d also been terrible, and this was one of those occasions. What he’d done to Talid was disgusting, and I honestly couldn’t blame Rakim for his anger. I just wished I wasn’t wrapped up in it.

“Well, whether my life was on the line or not, Rakim, I hope my father saves Talid. I honestly pray for that. Despite what you know of him, my dad is a celebrated surgeon and is very good at what he does, so if anyone can save Talid, it would be him.”

“I appreciate the prayer,” he said lowly, almost to the point of being inaudible as his eyes drifted downward. “And I know yo’ pops is good. We paid for Talid to have access to the best network of doctors.”

Changing the subject because I could see he was struggling with the topic at hand, I said, “You know before you told me where you got the books, I assumed you got them from a girlfriend. Thought you lied about not having one.”

“Nah. I don’t do girlfriends, love, or romantic relationships of any kind.”