“I never lied about anything! I didn’t deliberately hide that I’ve dated men. I didn’t lie when I said Hank was a friend. I don’t need you to fuckingsaveme. Cici didn’t know you were here and didn’t mean to make it weird. We can just… get to the airport and then you never have to see me again!”
“Well, that would be the case if I didn’t have to ever come back here!”
I burst into a sob. “Fuck you!”
Mary stepped forward, as if trying to comfort me on impulse, but I pushed her back.
“No! Don’t touch me!” I shouted. “God forbid you should ever see my body—the one from what was it… a renaissance painting—again! As angry as you might be right now over whatever it is you think I’m lying about, I am ten times more hurt over your lack of authenticity.”
“Authenticity?”
“You told me sweet nothings—again! It’s not fair for you to fly off the handle at me.”
A pained expression crossed Mary’s face. “Betty, I meant what I said. But that’s why it hurts?—”
“What hurts? The fact that you like me? Because you have your own unresolved shit that I can’t cope with right now.”
I pulled on an old sailing crewneck and stepped into the hallway. Slamming the door behind me, I raced downstairs. Tears running, I found Cici pacing in the kitchen. To my relief, she’d already made a large French press.
“I… I didn’t realize. I’m so… sorry,” Cici said, voice hushed. “I don’t even know what to think?—”
“Don’t. It’s over. She’s coming down and we’re going to white knuckle through this.”
Her eyes grew wide. “She?”
“She’s a woman. Her name is Mary and I adore her. Well, I did, but now she thinks I’m a flake who plans on fucking Hank again thanks to you!” I dried my eyes with a kitchen towel.
“Well, I’m sorry, but how the hell was I supposed to know you had brought someone homeandthey were a woman.?”
“Boundaries, Cici! Plus, you never asked! Now, can we just… not talk about this right now?”
“Betty, I’m not angry with you for sleeping with a girl,” Cici clarified.
“You’re just mortified?”
“Because ofmybehavior and how it’s affecting you and this woman, yes. Bets, I am sorry. I am so mortified. Isthis like a new thing?”
I threw my hands up. “We will talk when I get back. Right now, her entire band is headed to the airport, and she has a flight to catch. I promised I would drive her.”
“Wait a second… what band? Are they in UniVox?”
“She’s the singer for the Zamboneys,” I sighed.
Her jaw dropped. Somehow,thatnews was more exciting than my bisexuality in the moment. I didn’t understand UniVox at all, clearly.
“This is precisely why I said nothing!”
“Bets, it will be fine. Take her to the airport. We will talk after.”
Chapter 20
The Longest (Short) Ride
MARY
Isilently sipped my embarrassingly good coffee as Betty held on by a thread. I always swore Swedes won this battle, but now I had to give credit where it was due. As good as the brew was, Betty’s tears pained me to no end. She held the steering wheel and set her jaw not in anger but in sadness. I kicked myself for losing it on her, but couldn’t stand the feeling that she used me.
“Elisabeth,” I said. “I’m sorry for yelling and for getting upset. I was freaking out and?—”
