As I was about to leave, Hank dropped by my room to check on me.
“We missed you today over fences. I’ll be out early if you want to jump in tomorrow,” Hank said.
“Thanks. I might take you up on that.”
“You okay?” He asked.
“Not really,” I answered, attaching my earrings. “Kaldi knows.”
“Who? What?”
“The documentary lady,” I answered. “The one following us all around. She knows about Mary and me.”
“Well, it doesn’t surprise me. You’re lovesick.”
I smacked him with my clutch bag.
“Oh, come on, it’s cute.”
“Not if it hurts her career,” I said, stepping into my shoes. “I will not cost her this, okay? I’m in love with her. And the thing is, I want to shout it from the rooftops and go public more than ever, but… that’s not what is best forher.”
He did a double take, shaking his head. “Sweetheart, you are a mess.”
“Am I?” I looked at my shoes, worried I’d made the wrong choice. “Is it the wedges?”
“No, Bets. You look great. She’ll flip. It’s… I just worried you’d never come to terms with that part of yourself.”
“I still don’t know what to say. I feel so silly?—”
“You’re alright. Everyone will love you—and Mary. She’s a good person. But the fact that it hurts you to hide it under a bushel? It’s good.”
He dropped my gaze.
“What?” I asked, annoyed he was hiding something.
“You make a cute couple, and people will fall in love with you. So, even if it came out, I think it would be okay.”
“I don’t,” I said. “As fucking silly as this competition is, it makes or breaks careers. Most of the performers are my age or younger. Mary sidelined herself for years because of being fucked over by a producer and then caring for an ailing mother. She’s put in more work than anyone here. She deserves this most of all. I would never let her risk it.”
He smiled. “That’s sweet, Bets, but don’t overthink it. Lifegoes on. And it’s not as though by getting caught with you, she’s ever going to settle or want for anything, is she?”
“You think I’m actually a catch?” I scoffed.
“Come on, Betty! That was why my family always gave me shit. You still pay my feed bill, you know? They never understood why I didn’t just run off with the beautiful princess who had everything at her fingertips.”
“I don’t want her to want me because I’m rich, Hank!”
His insinuation set me off. She loved me for me. I needed to believe that.
“No, no. Don’t get it twisted. I know you think the royal thing is a huge liability and that everyone will desert you because of it—perhaps cuz I did—but please don’t hold that against Mary. You are a beautiful person. You’re a loving partner, clever, and never waiver in your ability to show up. Her dad already adores you, right?”
I shrugged.
“She has to appreciate that. She seems like a protective, private person.”
“Which is why she won’t?—"
“She wouldn’t be with you if she didn’t understand all that comes with it,” Hank said. “Betty, she’s a rockstar. Let’s think critically for a moment. She could have anyone she wanted, but no matter who she chooses, she’s never going to be a fully private person. The press will always hound her. At least you get it, right?”
