“Wait, that’s my mom’s number? The fuck?” Dani yelps. “No, don’t answer it! What are you freaking—”
“Hi, Mrs. Lockwood,” I say to Dani’s mom as Dani mouths, “Hang up! Hang up!”
“Yes, she’s here. Yes, I’ll put you on speaker.”
“Dani, why aren’t you answering your phone?”
“I’m busy, Mom,” Dani chokes out.
I lean in and take her nipple in my mouth.
“You want to do what?” Dani gasps, grabbing at my half-frozen, wet hair.
“This weekend? You want to invite his parents over this weekend? But it’s the couples’ shower?”
“My parents?” I raise my head up.
“Yes, Dani, I am aware. However, I think that we should all get together and meet since you two are so serious, as soon as possible,” her mother states.
“There’s no rush.”
“Now, Dani, I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but you remember Cindy, my friend from book club? Her daughterworks in fertility medicine, and she thinks that your time might be running out.” Here mom continues. “So I’m going to go ahead and start booking wedding venues for next year.”
Dani slaps her hand to her forehead. “But the couples’ shower?”
“That’s the point of the wedding events, Dani, to get to know everyone’s relatives. Now, Graham, I need to know: Are there any allergies in your family?”
“You’re inviting his whole family?” Dani shrieks.
“Of course I am, Dani.” her mom says in that New York accent. “Please pay attention. Now, you’re obviously busy, so we’ll talk more tomorrow.”
“Well,” Dani says tartly after hanging up, “guess you’ll have to put your kidnapping plans on hold since Mom is inviting you and your family to some sort of meet and greet.”
My phone goes off.
Grayson:What is this meet and greet with Dani’s parents?
“Fuck, she invited my brothers? You have to cancel this dinner, Dani. Now.”
31
DANI
“Mom! Mom! Mom!”
“Dani, stop whining at me like a toddler.”
“Do you think that they’ll like soft cheeses or aged cheese, Beans?” Dad holds up two wedges. “Soft or aged? Piper, what do you think? Soft or aged?”
“Uncle Hank, the couples shower is being catered. We don’t have to bring anything.”
“But there was such a good deal on cheese at Costco, Dani.” He gestures to the mountain of cheese varieties on the counter. “We can’t let it go to waste. We’re not going to eat this much cheese.”
I can and will eat that much cheese, especially after… what happened last night.
I’m a real woman now, right? That means I can eat my weight in cheese.
“And your mom invited all those extra people. Plus your grandmother is bringing all three of her boyfriends.”
