“Your ridiculous insistence to push away Azazel Altair has ruined our fun. Do not speak to us until your mind is working again!”
I felt more than heard their exit, my mind suddenly lighter and free of whispers or laughter. Had they taken their essence entirely?
Now utterly alone in my misery and stress, I got out of the bed, rushing to grab one of Azazel’s large cotton shirts from the small dresser to the left of his bathroom door. I tugged on the first one I saw, black and plain, before moving to my bag andgrabbing a pair of my undergarments. The long-sleeved shirt almost reached my knees, this one bigger than his thin ones. So I decided not to risk sorting through either of our clothes to find comfortable pants and settled on just that.
Padding over to the ice box after, I pulled out the fish that Altair had prepped for Death the day before, smiling despite myself. She came dashing over from under the sofa, her meows loud as she twirled around my ankles.
“Have some patience.” Maybe I needed that too. Maybe he just needed time.
By the time he exited the bathroom, I’d already cleaned out Death’s litter, fed her, and gotten started on breakfast. Trying to appeal to his taste buds, I’d added the raspberries he liked into the pancakes, making them as large as the black top would allow.
The door creaked open slowly, Azazel’s steps almost silent. Nervous, I just continued cooking, hoping he’d suddenly change his mind and be more reasonable. Instead, I heard only the front door closing, silence following in its wake.
***
In one of the books Azazel had brought me calledWill and Magic,I’d discovered an entire chapter on alghazi. So, while the damn snake went on a run that was apparently twice as long as it normally was, I read and practiced.
According to the text, will was actually only half the battle. The reason so many shaytan struggled with more complex magic was because they didn’t understand the process of said magic. It reminded me of when I was attempting to split Azazel’s blood in my lab back home. I had to know every step of splitting the blood, or else it wouldn’t have worked.
This led into alghazi and how one had to first understand the mind fully before they could enter and sift through someoneelse’s. The writer described the mind like a puzzle, made up of thousands of tiny pieces. Where did each thought lie? How did the person store and sort through their thoughts and feelings? A lengthy anatomy section was followed immediately by a psychological one, where drawn diagrams showed how the mind was organized from person to person. It made me think of my shelves, where I stacked my every thought, fact, memory, and feeling like books.
When Azazel finally returned, he was covered in sweat and breathing heavily, his eyes bloodshot—not that he’d even look at me. He went straight to the bathroom with his head down. Death leapt off my lap and ran to him, but he’d closed the door before she got there.
And he calls me dramatic.
Attempting to ignore his performance, I continued reading. But I was struggling to consume even a few lines, forced to reread them over and over again.
When the water began running, Death let out a loud meow. She whined as he bathed, even scratching at the door once. Groaning, I tried to pull the quilt over my head, but then my mind was filled with images of me spread out. Azazel peeking up at me from between my legs. The feeling of his tongue on my clit, how he somehow surpassed even the dream I had. Every swipe and lick and dip had forced me higher and higher, and I wanted more of it.
No.
Clenching my thighs together, I slammed the book closed, shimmying off the bed and sweeping up Death when I got to her. “He’s not mad at you, evil little thing. It’s me he can’t stand right now.”
The door swung open seconds later, revealing a now damp and nearly naked Azazel, his face no longer pained. Now, he wasfurious.
“Yeah, Iammad at you!”
Backing up, I scrunched my brows, trying to keep up with his rapidly changing moods. Had he not been ignoring me? I willed my eyes not to lower to the fluffy black towel that was barely secured to his hips.
“Obviously,” I said. That seemed to only further piss him off. His chest muscles were taut, veins protruding from his arms and neck.
“Don’t do that!”
“Do what?”
Azazel followed, his teeth bared. “Act like none of this matters! Like nothing happened!”
“Why?,” I asked, setting down Death before throwing my hands into the air. “That’s the only way for things to go back to how they were! To undo what we ruined!”
“We didn’t ruin anything!” He pressed into me, forcing me back towards the wall. “We—we—we finally did exactly what I’ve been dreaming of!”
“You can’t be that desperate to fuck me! There’s tons of women out there! Men too! Go find a different one!” I pointed to the door, as if willing him to go seek out someone else’s company.
“I don’twanta different one! I wantyou,Nova!”
“Why?”
“Because I fucking love you!”
