“Listen, I know that we—”
“If this is about me cumming, I promise that isn’t normal. I can do better. If you give me one more try, I can pleasure you all night. Fuck, all day. All I need is a chance to prove it.”
Universe spare me, he was wanting to do it again? To go even further?
“No, Az, hold on. I don’t care that you finished early. That was probably for the best, honestly.” Why were my hands moving so much as I talked? What was wrong with me? I tucked them under my armpits, trying to breathe.
Looking confused, Azazel scooted closer. Did he realize his cock was literally bouncing around? Was he aware that I kept accidentally looking at it? Had he noticed the way my eyes traced the shadow marks on it?
Pinching my eyes closed, I sucked in a deep breath and said, “This can’t happen again.”
Silence. Wherever Death was, even she didn’t make a sound. It was like time stood still. When I opened my eyes, it was to the sight oftheAzazel Altair looking as if he might cry. His eyes were glassy, lips pouted and turned down, and cheeks beginning to blaze a violent red.
Slowly, as if unsure if it was the right thing to do, he scooted away from me, pulling one of the thin sheets over his naked lower half. “I’m confused. What did I do wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I just…this can’t happen. We can befriends. Maybe we already were and hadn’t realized it. That’s more than okay. I want it. But we can’t be more. It isn’t fair to either of us.”
Did he understand? Could he see all the pain his people had caused mine? Would it make sense to him that our ancestors for millennia had madeusimpossible?
Forgivinghimwas one thing, but in my selfishness I had allowed a line to be crossed. One that existed to maintain the wellbeing and dignity of eadi and of eadi everywhere. I’d crossed it once with Talon, and my familydied.I couldn’t—wouldn’t—do it again.
“But I’ve changed. I’m not the same as I was. Yes, I know I don’t deserve you, but I can spend the rest of my lifeearningyou.”
“Please, don’t make this harder. It was a mistake we made from the high of surviving and the fog of starshine.” I was struggling to keep up the calm face, his desperation making my heart ache. “Can’t we just forget it happened?”
Determined, he dropped the sheet and got to his knees, grabbing my face with his hands. “Nova, I can make you happy. I’ll fight for you. For us. For Dajahim. Screw the rebellion,you and Ican fix this world. The stars said so. I’ll do anything for you. Just don’t ask me to forget the best night of my life. Don’t call us a mistake. Don’t ask me to let you go.”
Why was it so hard to tell him no? Why didn’t he just let it go? It’s not like we were married and I was up and leaving him. It was barely more than a kiss. He couldn’t care that much about getting laid.
“This isn’t going any further.” I was direct, demanding, unflinching. And I felt the moment that registered to him. His hands fell, his face going stony, the cold heir returning. “But we’reallies.We’refriends.You’re not wrong, we can change this world. And I’m…I’m so grateful to have you at my side. Let’s just go back to how things were.”
Shaking his head, he pushed off the bed, standing and heading for the bathroom. “I’m going for a run.”
“I’ll go with you!”
“No.”
“But—“
“No!” I jumped at his tone, startled into silence.
He stilled, pressing his hands against the door. Back rippling with tension as he flexed, he looked more like the gods in books than a real person. He could have anyone. Why did he insist on me? Why couldn’t we go back?
“I need to be alone.” With that, he opened the bathroom door, closing it behind him with the sound of the lock clicking in place echoing in the silence.
Of all things that I thought would get in the way of us working together, it had never crossed my mind that it’d be something as trivial as oral.
Groaning, I let my face fall into my palms, trying to come up with any possible way to salvage this. Clearly desperate, I turned to the nosy menaces in my head. They hadn’t spoken since the ball, but I knew they were there, listening. Always listening.
What do you all think I should do?
“Don’t speak to us.”
Excuse me?
“We’re mad at you!”
Why are you yelling? What did I do to you?
