If he cared or noticed, Talon didn’t let on. He only nodded, his face turning an ashen shade. Nervous I’d hurt him, I gently tucked my arms under his back and legs, lifting him up.
“Fucking universe, you’re heavy. What have you been eating?” Maybe now wasn’t the best time to attempt to be funny, but it did earn me a muffled laugh, blood spurting from his mouth. Yeah, definitely not the right time.
After a lot of struggle and an embarrassing amount of effort opening the door, I got Talon inside. My head pounded, the piercing pain in my back making me dizzy as I set him on the sofa. None of the others had made it back. Not yet, at least. But I couldn’t let myself focus on them when Talon looked like he was barely holding on.
“I’m going to try to heal you while we wait for help, okay? Just stay still.” I pressed my hands into his abdomen, trying to will my magic to life.
Heal him. Stitch him together. Thread his skin and…and…
That was the problem with someone not trained as a healer or medic, we didn’t know what the fuck to do.
Even worse, I could feel how uncooperative my magic was being. How it crumpled beneath the weight of my pain and faded away as if on a phantom breeze.
“Az,” Talon mumbled, his voice hoarse and faint.
“Don’t speak. You need to preserve your energy.” And I needed to preserve mine if I was going to help. But there was no time. No way. No path forward. All I could do was pinch my eyes closed and grit my teeth, begging the stars for help they probably wouldn’t give.
Please, don’t let him die. Don’t let me lose another sibling.
“I’m so sorry for what I’ve done, Az.” My eyes shot open, landing on his. Shaking my head, I opened my mouth to protest, but he spoke over me. “I’ve done such awful things. I took my own sister’s life. I murdered Nova’s parents. I slaughtered innocent servants. I framed you. I lied. I…I took you all for granted and then had the gall to blame you for it.”
“Talon, stop. We…we can work through that later. For now, just focus on breathing. On stayingalive.Nova will be back soon with help. It’s going to be okay.”
Was it though? By the way he grimaced, his eyes fluttering and hands going limp, I wondered if he knew something I didn’t. If the end was inevitable.
“We both know this is it.”
Frantic now, I shook my aching head, dried blood tearing at my hair as I moved. Tears began to pour down my cheeks without warning, my breaths rapid and my chest burning.
“Don’t talk like that.” Again I ordered my magic to comply, feeling it tingle against my fingertips and watching with genuine fear as it barely closed the edges of the gaping wound.
“Please, just let me say sorry. Let me die knowing I at least tried to be better,” he croaked, a small drop of blood sliding out of his nose.
No. No, no, no, no!
“You’re not going to—“
“Az,please.”
One of his hands grabbed mine, the hold so loose I’d have thought he wasn’t trying if I didn’t know better. Still crying, I nodded, choking back a sob.
“Remember that one time we snuck out of Castle Zade with a bottle of Father’s expensive whiskey?” he asked, his smile revealing bloody teeth.
Nodding, I said, “He had four guards chase us down and drag us out of the woods.”
Despite myself, I laughed, remembering how smug we’d been even after our beatings. We’d found an empty bottle from the trash and got the idea to steal a fresh bottle and pretend it was empty when we were inevitably found.
“I still remember drinking it with everyone the following month. How we’d laughed when Dove burped so loudly it echoed,” he said. My laughter died out quickly, her name making me feel sick. His face had gone slack, tears filling his red-tinted eyes. “I’d take it all back if I could. She was one of the only good things in this world. Even when the two of us faced off after I’d killed our father, she barely tried to fight back. I think she loved me even when she knew I was going to hurt her. I didn’t deserve her. Any of you.”
Stars, there were the sobs again.
“I…I should’ve…been there for you, Tal.” I was speaking between hiccups and gasps now, barely able to see him through the blur of my tears. “I shouldn’t…have let my anger and…hurt get in the way of…helping you.”
“It was never your fault, Az. My mind has felt like a prison this last year. A place full of hatred and fury and blame. I don’t know why I thought you were my enemy, but it was like a lifetime of insecurities had fed the paranoia, and I truly couldn’t get myself to think differently. I…Ihatedyou. All of you.”
“I could’ve done more,” I insisted.
Talon only shook his head, the movement sending blood bursting out of his mouth like vomit. I pressed my hand into his cheek, wishing more than anything that I could change the past. That I could right what was wronged.
