I cross my arms, keeping my voice as casual as possible to say what I know changes everything. “Jess is back.”
Will plays with the kids instead of facing me. Or his sister. He sits between Addie and Ollie on the couch, and he doesn’t have any reaction to getting third place. He doesn’t look at me. He doesn’t look at the kitchen. He sits there, stiff as a board, and it takes everything in me not to go to him and beg for his forgiveness right in front of everyone.
In the shuffle of everyone sitting down at the table and grabbing extra chairs so we all fit, Will and I end up across from each other, with Jess on my right.
Frank and Joyce are over the moon that their daughter is home. They ask her questions about being gone, what she did, where she went. They call it a trip, and I can’t help but feel bitter about that. But it fills the tense silence at the table, as I avert my eyes from Will the best I can.
“So are you two back together then?” Joyce says, finally asking the question I’m sure she’s been sitting on since she arrived. Jess smiles, and her hand finds mine on the table.
I look down at it.
Across the table, Will does too.
“We’re still working through some things,” she says, squeezing my hand. “But I’m home, that’s what matters.”
“Of course it is,” Joyce says, with a bright smile.
Frank nods. “I’m sure you two will make it work. Lord knows we’ve all had some tough times, but this is what it’s all about. Family.”
“We lost our way for a little bit,” Jess continues. “But we love each other, and—”
Will’s fork hits his plate, the sharp sound cutting through the chatter at the table. Everyone looks at him to see what it wasabout, what hurtful thing he’s going to say this time, but he’s already standing. “I can’t do this.”
He starts toward the door without explaining, but he doesn’t have to. I stand up to follow him. “Let him go, honey.” Jess tugs at my hand, still in hers, an attempt to stop me. “You know he always does this.”
Pulling out of her grip, I walk around the table. And I know everyone’s eyes are on me, but I don’t care.
“Nolan, what are you—”
The cold of the January snow bites at my face, the small flurries earlier turned into a steady snow, and Will is already halfway down the driveway, his jacket forgotten, the same as mine. “Will! Will, wait!”
“Screw you, Nolan!” He gets to his car, covered in a layer of snow, and grabs the handle anyway.
“Please—”
When he turns around, I expect anger. The frown and the narrowed eyes and the clenched jaw. His signature look at this point.
But that’s not what I get.
His nose is red and so are his eyes, and I’m not sure it’s from the cold, and I think I can feel my heart breaking.
“Oh my god, dude. Can’t you just leave me alone?”
I shake my head, coming to a stop in front of him, wrapping my arms around myself in the freezing snow. “I’m so sorry, please, give me a chance to explain—”
“You accused me of stealing your drugs.” His voice cracks. “After everything. After I fucked you and I made you breakfast and called myself your boyfriend, God, I’m such a—”
He starts to cry, and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen, and I did this. I’m the reason, and he doesn’t even wipe the tears away. “And now you’re back withher andI’m standing in the snowcrying like a loser.Jesus Christ.” He stops, burying his face in his hands. “I hate you. I fuckinghate youfor doing this to me.”
“I know you do, but—”
“I should have stayed in my motel room and minded my business and never—” His voice is muffled in his hands, but I can still hear enough. “I knew you would do this. You never listen to anything I say. It’s always—”
“Will.” I close the distance between us, wrapping my hands around his arms and pulling them from his face to make him look at me. “Addie took the pills.”
He sniffles, and it takes everything in me not to comfort him, but I have to explain first.
“Addie took them from the cabinet because she was thinking about hurting herself. And Jess came back and everything was so… It’s not an excuse. I should have called you the moment I found out, and I didn’t, and I’m sorry. I’msosorry.”
