I let go of a sigh as Jayne and I walked out of the room together. I instantly felt guilty for people-pleasing instead of staying with Wes, who I would much rather take a sneaky trip to the bathroom with.
The door shut behind us. The hallway was dim and quiet. A coat rack was just before the bathrooms, and on the far end of the hall opposite the staircase was another closed door, muffled voices emanating from within. I was surprised The Circle hadn’t rented out the entire floor.
“Apologies for the… strange company this evening,” Jayne said as we entered the tiny bathroom with three stalls. She faced me in front of the mirrors. “The Circle is a community, but it is not without its expenses. Some people aren’t as far on their spiritual evolution journeys.”
Was this Jayne’s way of apologizing for the new money crypto bro jackasses?
I could read between the lines. What she was really saying was that The Circle was abusinessabove all else. They needed to keep their banks happy.
“And I’m sorry if we interrupted date night.”
You did,I wanted to respond, but it didn’t feel worth it. Instead, I didn’t accept her apology at all.
“I care about you Nova,” she continued, her magnetism on full blast. Her features were angelic, shining with a genuineness that was hard to deny. “I know I pushed you at the beginning. But I think you needed the shove, and I think youknowthat you needed it. Especially now that everything is starting to align for you.”
I swallowed. In Jayne’s deluded mind, did she really believe in all the things she said? It was so difficult to piece together fantasy from reality when I was in The Circle’s orbit.
“You know exactly why I joined The Circle, don’t you?” I asked, overcome with a sudden boldness.
Her face was unreadable, her serene guru demeanor not shifting an inch. “To free yourself from fear and own your desires.”
Anger heated my blood. Jayne and Archer were playing God, but they weren’t gods. They were entrepreneurs who had found a way to fulfill an unmet need. Elevated kink parties for the wealthy and beautiful that kept taboo proclivities ethical and above board.Allegedly.
“How did you find us here?” I asked, refusing to back down.
Jayne was unflinching, her smile subtle. “You don’t believe in magic, Nova?”
I glared past her, away from her electric gaze. Maybe it was self-sabotage or impatience or sheer desperation, but I couldn’t hold it back any longer. Not when I was actively harming Wes by dragging all of this out.
I returned my eyes to Jayne’s. I lifted my chin. “Where is Lorelei, Jayne?”
She didn’t flinch. Didn’t reveal a single emotion or hint of recognition. After a period of deafening silence, her brows slowly inched closer together. “Who?”
I laughed darkly, the hairs on the back of my neck on high alert. I shook my head and shoved into a stall. Jayne seemed to do the same. I heard her sigh.
“You don’t trust us,” she said. “Your protector part is activated, a relic of an unsafe childhood.”
“Don’t,” I hissed, returning to the sinks. I washed my hands with a deep frown, frustrated and confused by all of this—all ofthem.
Jayne joined me, her features still thoughtful, empathetic. “I’m sorry, Nova. I wish I could help.” She dried her hands on one of the towels. “Watching you begin to blossom has been incredible, but you know you can leave The Circle at any time, and we will understand.”
“Can I?” I asked.
Jayne had the audacity to look wounded by the question. “You know, this world has used thecultlabel to discredit, silence, and destroy non-conformists living in intentional communities for a long time. No two people’s experience in The Circle is the same. We value freedom, not control—unless control is what is desired.” She met my eyes in the mirror and pinned me with all the religious fervor of a pastor preaching about the end days. “I know you feel it too. The brokenness, the loneliness. It’s no individual’s fault. The system was designed this way.”
“You mean by people like Max Graves?” I retorted.
Jayne finally hesitated, just the briefest flicker of doubt in her alluring golden eyes. “We can’t choose our blood family, Nova. But we can choose our soul family.”
I let go of a breath, irritated with the strength of her own conviction and its inherent seductiveness.
“I know who all of these men are,” she said, taking me by surprise. She lowered her voice but straightened her spine. “Would we not reap the most benefit from healing the spiritual emptiness of those at the very top?”
Did Jayne truly think she washealingthe heir of a tech empire by giving him access to hot subs to torture? Staring into her eyes, I found my answer. There was no truer believer.
“Trickle-down Nirvana?” I asked in spite of myself.
Jayne smiled. “There’s that colorful humor I adore.” She tentatively raised her hand to my shoulder, maternal and warm. “I—” Her phone rang. “So sorry, I need to take this, but we’llfinish our chat soon. I want to hear all about Wes.” She winked and dropped her hand before quickly leaving the bathroom.
