FIFTY-ONE
EMMETT
She walks away, and I’m left standing there, alone, with no one to blame but myself. This one is all on me.
Her words ring hollow in my head.
“. . . being so afraid of losing me that you never let yourself have me? That”s still losing me.”
And I can’t shake the feeling that she’s right.
Ten seconds of telling myself I’m doing the right thing is all I can stand before I’m moving.
Two long steps turns into a jog, and by the time I hit the path, I’m running. Or whatever version of running my body allows these days.
My lungs immediately protest. Pain cinches around my ribs. My instincts are screaming at me to push through it, but the voice in the back of my head is louder.
It’s Aspen.
Emmett.
I can see the look on her face, her eyes narrowed, one hand on her hip as she tuts. She’d call me an idiot for hurting myself to prove a point nobody asked me to prove. Especially not her.
And damn it.
I slow down.
The physical pain I can handle. It’s an unsettling realization that slows my steps as everything Aspen’s been trying to tell me clicks into place.
I wanted her to be safe and not prioritize me over herself. But that’s not what this is really about.
She wants me to let her love me, but she needs me to stop destroying myself to prove I deserve it.
What good is protecting everyone else if there’s nothing left of me to give?
Hands on my hips, a cough rattles my chest as I come around the building just in time to see her taillights through a cloud of dust.
Everything in me wants to go after her and fix this.
To make sure she knows that I feel the exact same way about her.
Maybe loving her means trusting she meant it when she said she’d stay—believing that today won’t ruin what we have. I won’t leave her waiting long, but there are things here I need to take care of so I can stop letting fear decide what I get to keep.
Putting my back to where I want to be more than anything, I turn and head for the entrance of the facility, ready to deal with all the questions the doctor left me with, and eventually, Carl.
“Thought I told you to find me before you left.”
Or now.
Carl’s leaning against the wood column outside the front doors.
“Do you always lurk in parking lots waiting to ambush people?”
“Only you.”
“Stop. I’ll feel special.”
“Don’t. You’re just predictable.” I say flatly. “Let’s get this over with.” I hold the door open for him. This doesn’t feel like it’s going to be a short conversation and after running, I need to sit.
