Arlo runs a hand through his hair. His fingers are trembling. “I… I know that isn’t what we agreed on. It’s as much of a surprise to me as it is to you, I’m sure.” A breathy laugh tumbles from his lips. “I don’t expect you to say it back. Not after everything you’ve been through, but…”
His throat bobs, his eyes taking on a glassy sheen. “If you should find that after everything, you’ve still got even a piece of your heart left to give, I’d cherish it. A-and if you don’t, then wedon’t have to get married. We can call it all off. Make up some reason why things didn’t work out.”
My heart thuds hard against my rib cage. Once, I never thought it would beat again for anyone. My heart has grown wings like a seagull.
“Even if you don’t feel the same, you will still get your potion. But I can’t marry you unless you love me, too. Calling off the wedding would be less painful than that.”
The desperation in Arlo’s eyes leaves me speechless, when not long ago, this would have been my ideal outcome. Now I don’t know what to say because I never thought I’d find myself fighting back three words I’ve only ever uttered to one man.
I want to say yes.
Yes, I want you.
Yes, I’ll marry you.
I love you.
My lips part, the words on the tip of my tongue.
What about my promise to Leif?
My word is my vow, and I vowed never to forget him.
Arlo sighs, as if he knows exactly what I’m struggling with. “Gunnar. I will never ask you to forget about your family. I want you to tell me stories about them. I love the way you light up when you talk about them. You can keep them in your heart. I just want a part of it.”
Arlo deserves so much more than just a piece of my heart. What do I have left to give him except broken pieces?
“I… I need to go.” I stumble out of bed and throw open my dresser drawer.
“Gunnar, wait. Let’s talk about this.” If it were possible for a broken heart to speak, it would sound like Arlo.
I throw on some clothes and grab my fur cloak. “Later. I need to run.”
The door slams behind me. My feet thunder down the stairs and carry me out through the door. Cold air crashes over me like a wave before I toss my cloak over my shoulders. The furs come to life, crawling all over me until I’m on all fours, my body rearranging into that of a wolf.
Four paws slam the earth and I run until my lungs burn, but there’s no outrunning a broken heart.
The guilt catches up to me before I arrive at the outskirts of the village, not far from Arlo’s home. He told me he loved me, and my response was to run like a craven. How could I do that to him? But how could I respond when I can’t even accept my own feelings?
At a loss for what else I can do with myself, I shift back to my human form and walk until my feet begin to ache. Couples hold hands, smiling at each other as if nothing troubles them. Snatches of a family’s humorous conversation fill my ears, a child’s laugh tinkling in the air like a bell.
A familiar pub is at the end of the street. Memories of Arlo’s lips against mine force my feet to stumble to a halt. I hadn’t kissed anyone in such a long time. I’d been terrified I would make a fool of myself, but kissing Arlo came as naturally as breathing.
Will I ever get to kiss him again or have I pushed him away for good?
An ache thickens my throat.
Gods. I don’t want to lose him. But what if I already have?
I give thought to going inside and drinking myself into a stupor, but before I can enter, my eyes snag on a familiar witch sitting at a table by the window. It’s Arlo’s friend Derek. He’s got a scowl on his face, chomping on his food like it committed an offense against him. He shoves out of his seat and marches for the door. Shit. The last thing I want is to talk to Arlo’s ex. Derek storms outside, his phone to his ear, before I have the chance to get away. When he notices me, his scowl deepens.
“You,” he growls.
I fold my arms. “Aye. Me.”
“You want to tell me why Arlo called us in tears and canceled his stag do?”
My heart sinks into my stomach. Oh gods. I am the biggest ass in all the nine realms. “He was crying?”
