“When our parents were killed, we ran. Two demons chased us, but they were stronger. One tried to cut my wings into pieces.When he saw it wasn’t working, he started trying to cut my flesh around them.”
“That’s how you got the scars on your back?” Di couldn’t hide the tremor in his voice. When I saw the tears falling, I wiped them away.
“Yes. It doesn’t hurt anymore. The only reason the scars remained was because of the knife he used. Otherwise, it would have all healed. My powers prevented him from damaging my wings but couldn’t protect my skin.”
The next part was going to be the hardest. I’d never spoken with anyone about it. No one knew.
“By some miracle, a demon who we saw as a friend came and saved us. He was one of the strongest Starborns. He could manipulate demons’ powers. He could take them away during a fight, give strength, or conceal the powers of a demon."
"He wanted to conceal our powers, claiming the demons could sense them. But to do so, he had to seal them. He told us where to go once we left Hell and that we’d meet there. We were almost outside. Almost…” My voice broke, “but a powerful demon with an enchanted knife came out of nowhere and killed my brother.”
I choked on the last sentence. The empty eyes of my brother stared at me. All the blood spilled, his heart no longer beating. The promise he asked me to make, the promise I kept.
“Dagon,” Di’s voice pulled me from my memories. My name came out gently from his lips.
I saw tears falling down his cheeks. Even though my heart was bleeding, I couldn’t cry. I hadn’t cried since I lost my brother and then when I saw Di in that hospital. It seemed like no matter how I felt, my tears were frozen. I could see all the pain inside me reflected in Di's eyes. He was searching my gaze for something. What? I wasn’t sure.
Suddenly, he climbed into my lap and grabbed my head, holding it with two hands.
Looking straight into my eyes, he said softly, “I can't imagine what that loss must have felt like, Dagon. It wasn’t your fault. You were just a kid. I'm so sorry.”
"I was powerful, Di. Iampowerful. And I couldn't save my brother. It was my fault. If only I had insisted on not sealing my powers. If only I had seen the demon coming and unleashed them before he got to my brother…"
“You did all you could. Both of you were kids running for your lives.” His lips trembled as he said, “I’m so sorry for your loss, Dagon.”
My throat tightened. His words broke me, and that was when it all came rushing to the surface. The tears I'd been holding in for years. It felt like they had a life of their own.
As I stared into Di’s green eyes full of so much love and pain, I found the power within me to say, “He was my little brother, Di. My little brother…”
And then I fell apart in his arms.
I shattered repeatedly as all the pain ricocheted inside me. I hadn't allowed myself to feel the pain after he died. I made a promise to him, and I kept it. He asked me not to unleash my powers back then. His last words. And so I kept that promise as if it was the last connection to me with him. Today I broke it.
I know he didn't mean for me to keep my powers locked for too long, only until I was safe. But I held onto that promise, held onto him, even though he was gone. Not once did I feel safe enough to feel the real pain of him being gone. But now I was safe. I was safe in Diablos’s embrace, and everything I'd suppressed for so long barreled into me like a tidal wave.
Diablos held me through the shaking of my body, through the gut-wrenching sobs I couldn’t stop. I wrapped him in my arms,needing him to anchor me. Too afraid I would get swallowed by the horrors of my past and never return.
Fuck, how I missed my brother. His playful smile, the sparkle in those eyes when he was preparing to cause trouble. All the nights we would sneak out, wander around. The two of us, always, the two of us against the world.
The pain in my chest could never be explained with words. That night, I lost a part of myself. A part that I’ll forever miss.
I don’t know how long I cried. When I started to sense things around me, I felt the gentle caress of Di’s hand over my back. He was rocking me slowly. I closed my eyes, soaking in his support, letting it soothe me.
“Di,” I whispered with a raw voice.
He pulled back but didn’t let go of me. His eyes were red, his cheeks still wet. I opened my mouth to say something, but he silenced me with a peck to my lips and a kiss to my forehead.
“Let’s lie down.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
He embraced me as I closed my eyes, hoping I’d remember the good times with my brother instead of the end.
“You’re safe here. You’re safe to feel,” Di whispered, before another tender kiss to my cheek.
The gentleness in his voice and touch made more tears fall. This time, it was because I felt his love in a way I'd never felt before.
I couldn't save my brother, and that would haunt me for an eternity. But I won't make the same mistake with Diablos.
