We pulled away for air. When I saw Dagon’s hesitancy, I faltered.
“You love me?” he asked.
“Dagon Hughes. I’m in love with you. I’ve always been. The gentle smiles that you hide warm my heart. When you spoke about the things you loved, I wanted you never to stop becauseyou shone brightly with happiness. I even love it when you glare at me because deep down, I feel it never came from a bad place. I love the man you are,” I placed a shaking hand on his chest. “Not the brother, but the man I spent years watching from the shadows. Even though there was a wall between us, I saw the real you, and I loved you. I still do.”
I would always love you, were the words I held back. I didn’t want Dagon to think it was a heat-in-the-moment phrase.
One lonely tear fell on his cheek, and my heart started aching again. I kissed his cheek where the tear fell, then his eyes, and lastly, I kissed his lips tenderly.
“Thank you for telling me the truth. Thank you for opening up to me.” I said.
“You’re not angry at me?”
“No.” I shook my head. “There’s no reason to be angry. We were young. You did what you thought was the best. I don’t blame you, Dagon.”
He nodded, staring into my eyes like he wasn't sure I was real. I didn’t blame him, but Dagon would need a long time to stop blaming himself.
I pecked his lips, and we shared a small smile. Then, we held each other. It was what both of us needed. We needed to reassure each other that we were real, that this was happening. Somehow, the prospect of facing our fears didn’t seem so frightening and paralyzing when I was in Dagon’s arms. As long as we walked together, we would figure things out.
Chapter twenty-two
Dagon
Ilove you.
How many times had I lain awake in bed, imagining hearing those words? How often had I yearned to hold Diablos in my arms and kiss his lips?
He was still in my lap. His forehead resting against mine. His breath ghosting across my mouth in slow, unsteady pulls. My hands were on his hips and I couldn't make them move. They wouldn't move. I felt like if I let go, he'd disappear, like all of this had been a fever I was finally breaking.
He said he loves me.
The thought arrived in pieces. He said it in past tense first – I've loved you for years – and then in present,I love you, and then in something even more dangerous than both, because theway he saidit's you, from the beginning.It was you wasn't just a confession. It was a naming. He'd been carrying me the way I'd been carrying him in my heart, all these years. We'd been bleeding into the same empty room and neither of us had known the other was there.
Eight years. Wasted.
No. Not wasted. Survived.
My hand moved to the back of his neck. My fingers slid into the soft curls there, and I felt him exhale slowly against my lips. We sat like that for a long moment, breathing each other in, neither of us willing to be the first to move.
I guess he saw the heat in my eyes because he whispered, "We can't do this in a car." There was a laugh hiding somewhere under his voice.
"No," I agreed.
Yet neither of us moved.
"Dagon."
"I know."
Eventually, somehow, he climbed back into his seat. I felt the absence of him like a physical thing. My hands ached for the weight of his body. My chest was hollow in a way I hadn't felt since I was twenty-one years old standing in a hospital corridor, telling myself I had to leave.
Only this time, I wasn't leaving.
I was terrified of telling him how I felt and scared of telling him about King. I never wanted to create a wedge between them. King was his father. He was mine, too.
I was never pissed at him for what he said. I understood. What I explained to Di was also true. King's words shook me out of the haze of wanting to be next to Di as a mate. However, ultimately, it was my choice to distance myself. I couldn’t place that blame on King. Even if his words cut through me and left me bleeding endlessly for the past eight years. Even if at times theanger I felt got directed at him. Even if I suffered, I still tried to understand him… because he was my father.
After calming down, we decided on a hotel together and got back on the road. We traveled in silence, trying to process everything we had revealed and confessed.
