One fucking sentence was all it took for my world to crumble.
Dagon’s eyes were swimming with unshed tears while I let my own fall.
I threw myself at him and wrapped him in a hug. I wanted to go back in time and confront our father. How could he possibly tell Dagon these words? Putting the responsibility on his shoulders as the older brother. Calling the beginning of our feelings an infatuation and hormones. How could he claim we would be amistakeandloseour family if we loved each other?
My heart was breaking into millions of pieces. I was sobbing and holding onto Dagon with all I had, too afraid to release my hold even for a fraction of a second.
“It’s okay,” Dagon whispered.
“No, it’s not. It’s not fucking okay.”
He rubbed my back and held me tightly.
King’s words were the earthquake that started the avalanche of our lives.
Yes, we were young. Yes, we were both adopted. Of course, I fucking get King’s point of view and feelings. But he shouldn’t have made a decision for either of us. If he wanted to speak about it, he should have included me. He should have let us figure it out on our own. Wasn’t he the one who always said we were a family and always would be, no matter what? But then he made a one-eighty, and Dagon and I being together and potentially ending our relationship in the future suddenly replaced thealwayswith amistake and loss of the family.
Fuck, it hurts.
The rage inside me was blazing, but the pain? The pain was all-consuming. Just thinking about Dagon, how he felt, how he pulled away, it hurt too much. What King did wasn't just cruel,it was strategic. He knew Dagon. He knew how much he cared about all of us and the family as a whole.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I kept repeating the words between sobs.
“Di. Diablos.” He tried to pull away, but I held on.
“I’m sorry.”
“Do not fucking apologize! You have nothing to apologize for.Nothing.”
“I should have figured out there was something more when you pulled away. I should have known it’s not something you would decide on your own.”
“You tried. You tried so many times. Besides, what King said wasn’t the only reason I pulled away, Di.”
I didn’t believe him. I knew him back then. He always took care of the others and me from the shadows. He was the protective brother we could all count on. He wasn’t like Wild, who could get in your space and not leave until he was sure he had resolved the issue you were facing. No. Dagon was rough from the outside but gentle with his approach from the shadows. He put us above everything.
He put me above everything.
“I should have tried harder. I should have known what had happened.”
“No.Absolutely not.I don’t want you to think or feel like this even for a second.”
“We should have been the ones to decide.”
He was silent for a bit before saying, “I was the one who decided. King may have said all of this, but even his words wouldn’t have stopped me if I had decided to tell you how I felt.”
Even now, he was protecting King. He may fool many, but not me. Dagon was always protective of all of us. King took that, used the older brother card, and played it right for his win.
“I’m sorry I took the decision alone. I'm sorry I made that promise.” His voice was so small. More tears fell, and I would have done anything to alleviate his pain and the blame he carried.
I knew no matter what I said, it wouldn’t change how he felt about the past. But I could change the present. I pulled away slowly and looked him in the eyes. God, I loved these gray eyes. I could stare at them for an eternity. What I hated was the hesitancy and fear I saw in them.
Cupping his cheeks, caressing his beard, I lowered his head and kissed his forehead. Then, looking into his eyes, I told him my truth.
“I love you, Dagon.” His breath hitched, and the spark in his eyes warmed my insides, “I love you. I’ve loved you for years and realized I didn’t see you as a brother the night of my eighteen birthday. It’s you. From the beginning, it was always you.”
I feel the scrape of stubble against my jaw before his lips press into mine. Burying my hand in his hair, I pulled him closer to me. A moan slipped between my lips, and Dagon took the opportunity. The second his tongue swirled around mine, I groaned, and all worries left. I pushed him back, and by some miracle, unbeknownst to me, I managed to straddle him in the driver’s seat.
His hands didn’t stop tracing my body. The kiss between us was ravenous. The lips I dreamed about were sealed to mine. Our teeth crashed as our tongues battled for dominance. I wanted to consume him, and I wanted him to consume me.
