After spending the morning in a trance - who could blame me after everything that happened with Dagon? - we were back on the road. We expected to be at the village King had told us about in roughly six hours. I'd tried not to think about it for the past few days, but now it was difficult to stop the questions. Not even waking up on top of Dagon and the gentle kiss could fight the anxiety that roared in every part of my body.
For fuck's sake, what if we met a demon in person for the first time? What if our father was wrong and this friend wasn't on our side? What if he tried to attack us? What if something terrible happened while we were there?
I started playing with my ring and went through so many scenarios that my head began to throb with sharp pain. I was shaking my leg nervously, too. The desire to get out of the car and run in the opposite direction was intense.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Dagon’s voice pulled me out of the horrors in my mind. I didn’t want to lie to him.
“No.” Sighing, I continued, “What if our father is wrong and this person isn't a good guy? I’m going through all kinds of scenarios in my head.”
Dagon’s grip on the wheel tightened, but he didn’t look at me when he answered. “I don’t know whether King is right or wrong, but I promise you, this person won’t do anything to us.”
My chest tightened when I heard him say the wordus. I shouldn’t focus on that part of the sentence, but it was all I could do.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, Di.”
This time he looked at me, and my breath caught. Dagon smiled before turning his focus back to the road. I'd always believed that the eyes spoke the most. Lips could tell lies, but the eyes couldn’t lie. And the only thing I saw in Dagon was pure determination and reassurance.
“Okay.” I swallowed and realized my throat was like sandpaper, so I reached for my water bottle. After drinking a little bit, I said, “I believe you, but how can you be so sure? We're literally chasing some fantasy object in the hands of demons. What if we come face to face with demons and don’t even realize it?”
“It’s normal to be worried, but you’re not alone. We will do this together. Let’s focus on the upcoming meeting first. We'll think about everything else after that. And if that’s hard, talk to me about what bothers you. I may not be able to help much, but I’ll listen.” He quickly added as if he was afraid of something, “Of course, only if you want to.”
I tried to process his words, but the tightening in my gut made it hard. I'd have to spend hours finding the right words to describe my feelings.
“Thank you.”
That was the only thing I could manage for now. However, I was genuinely grateful to Dagon. Maybe he didn’t realize it, buthis words meant a lot to me. These intrusive thoughts weren’t something I could stop or rationalize away. It wasn’t like I could turn them off and on. Hearing his words made me feel cherished in a way I'd never felt before. The mere fact that he would listen if I needed to share was enough.
“King said this person is a friend of another angel. Okay, that I can understand, but why the fuck didn’t he tell us anything more about the demons?” I wondered aloud.
Dagon tensed before answering, “King… I don’t know what his game is, but trust me, a demon won’t be able to do anything to us.”
“How can you be so sure? Both of us have never met demons, and even if we did, we wouldn’t have realized it.”
“Are you afraid? Who knows, maybe they would be friendly,” Dagon joked.
“Afraid of what, more specifically?”
There were many things I could be afraid of. Starting with something happening to Dagon because of these motherfucking-demons-who-may-be-friendly, all the way to end-of-the-world kind of fear. Yeah, I call the demons being friendly utter bullshit.
“Are you afraid of demons?” he asked.
I thought about his question for a second. I didn’t want to rush my answer. Was I afraid of them doing something to me? I had never met demons before, so there was no reason for me to be frightened of someone I didn’t know. However, rationality wasn’t my strong suit. My mind, like always, was running wild, but I knew my brain couldn’t be trusted, so there was that. Besides, I didn’t take words for proof.
Regarding my beliefs and views, I preferred to decide alone, even if my mind often was at war with my heart. So, no, I wasn’t afraid of them hurting me, but I was terrified of demons hurting my family, hurting Tadeo, and innocent people. Most of all, Iwas scared of demons hurting Dagon… because he was with me now.
How could I answer his question then?
“A little bit.” It wasn’t the full truth, but it wasn’t a complete lie either. Dagon tightened his grip on the wheel again and nodded.
“Are you?” I asked.
“No.” His answer was quick.
I laughed as I said, “I’m not surprised.”
“There are things I’m afraid of. Demons just aren't one of them.”
I nodded, not knowing what else to say, so I chose silence. With every passing minute, Dagon noticed my anxiety more and more. Probably that’s why he reached over and took my hand. His fingers wrapped around mine, and I held my breath as my heart hammered.
