He had spiraled all night.
He had spiraled all nightalone. While I slept three feet away from him and couldn't help him.
My chest split open in a new way. A way the white-haired Starborn hadn't reached.
"Di," I said quietly… "what did the night do to you?"
He flinched. He opened his mouth to answer me, and I watched him decide, in real time, how much. He decided on less.
"I'm okay now," he said. "You're awake. I'm okay now."
That wasn't an answer. That was a patch over an answer. The version of an answer he could survive saying out loud. I knew the difference. I had given the same kind of half-answer to Andras a hundred times.
I didn't push.
Some things don't get said in the first ten minutes after waking up. Some things take longer. He would tell me what he could when he could. My job was to not make him do it twice.
Instead, I lifted his shaking hand and pressed my mouth to the inside of his wrist. I see you, I tried to say with my lips against his skin. I see what last night did to you. I'm here now. Whatever it cost, you don't have to carry it alone anymore.
His other hand, the one I hadn't kissed yet, came up to my hair. And then I saw it.
The bow and arrow.
Black ink running across wrist like a vein someone had drawn in with a fine brush. I caught the hand. Brought it closer and looked.
It was the shape of the arrow he had held in the field. Stripped to its outline and burned into him.
"Di," I whispered, "what happened to you?"
He looked down at our joined hands. At the mark. His throat worked.
"I'll explain everything," he said. "I will. Just, let me hold you for one more minute first. Please."
I held him.
One minute. Five. Ten. However many he needed.
Gently, I cupped the back of his neck and drew him into a slow, deliberate kiss. This was as much a kiss to reassure us that we were alive as it was to help Di breathe. I matched every one of my breaths with slow, deep ones. Inhaling when he exhaled and exhaling when he was inhaling. Gradually, our breathing aligned, calming us both.
When we finally separated, he studied me anxiously. “Are you in pain? How are you feeling?”
Stroking his back, I answered, “For some reason, I still feel a bit cold and dizzy, but I’ll be fine.”
He immediately jumped up. Before I could protest, he threw over me a thick blanket and returned to bed. Reaching the nightstand, he grabbed a glass of water and said, “Here, drink this. It may help with the headache, or I can go prepare some tea?”
“All I need is you. Give me half an hour, and I’ll be back to normal.” I drank the water and then snuggled with him, “Tell me everything.”
I needed to know what happened.
Di confessed that he had hidden from me his conversation with King, detailing Lucifer's involvement in creating the objectsand forcing him to choose between darkness and light. To say I was shocked and horrified would be putting it mildly. Then he dropped the bombshell that he met Lucifer.
“What!?” I screamed.
“Calm down. It was okay.”
“Lucifer was okay?” I asked flabbergasted.
“I’m getting a déjà vu. It wasn’t long ago when you said the same,” he retorted.
