Mom never snooped. She respected my privacy. She never talked about my father except to maybe correct me a bit when I started shit talking him when I was older. If she’d wanted me to know about her torrid relationship with the devil, she would have told me. We were close like that.
The only way I would have been comfortable reading things my mother never told me about her relationships would be if she was still alive and I could bring her here and tell her the truth about why he left.
But her angel blood didn’t save her from cancer, so I’d never be able to do that.
I was conveniently passing anything about Mom to Nero, Kujo, and Celix and digging into Lucifer’s investigations about who killed my half-brother. I was pretty sure whoever killed Kir eventually kidnapped Lucifer.
Lucifer went through all the stages of grief and wallowed in some a lot longer than mortals did. If you were immortal, indestructible, and didn’t have to worry about paying your bills, you could go down the darker parts of grief as long as you needed to.
I could see where he tried to write down his feelings to work through them, but he was also drinking. He got a little angry and incoherent. I got it. Mom wasn’t murdered, but I felt the exact same after she died.
“I found something,” Kujo said. “I don’t want to tell you because I don’t want to upset you while your wings are fragile.”
“My wings might be fragile, but I’m not. Out with it.”
“So, I thought we found the last diary before he was kidnapped, but he journaled alot.I’m pretty sure this is the last one. Felid and Canid demon can scent when someone is pregnant. Some can hear the heartbeat when it starts. Luciferknew your mom was pregnant with you before she did. This whole journal is him freaking out about keeping you both safe because he still hadn’t figured out who killed Kir. He didn’t know if you were safer here or on the mortal realm. Lucifer was going to tell your mom everything and convince her to come to Hell, but he never made it.”
I would have been a totally different person if that happened. Now me probably wouldn’t have liked that person. Of course, I could have ended up more like Wrathhog and not like some of the pretentious chickens I’d like to dick punch. I wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I liked me.
“Someone else knew,” Wrathhog said. “I don’t think they knewwhoLucifer got pregnant or they would have killed your mom before she could give birth. Kir nearly changed Hell because everyone loved him. I don’t think anyone wanted to risk that with another one of Lucifer’s spawn. A lot of demons love Lucifer, but a lot of them don’t. If the people who didn’t rally behind Lucifer rallied behind his child, it would upset the factions. Some of us want that change, but I could see where some of the princes wouldn’t.”
That made way more sense than I would have liked, but who else knew about me when my mother didn’t? Lucifer’s diaries weren’t exactly as protected as his secret passageways because Kujo managed to find them, but something told me he didn’t allow anyone in that part of his house unless he trusted them.
Lucifer wroteeverythingdown. It wouldn’t be hard to find out his secrets if you knew about that room.
Or he confided in someone, which really wasn’t boding well for Satan.
Sleeping with wings was interesting. I slept on my stomach, so it was kind of like a weighted blanket. And fuck me. I’d only just met them, but I slept better snuggling with Nero and Celix. They also refused to get in bed with me because of said wings. And in some bizarre twist, Kujo insisted on sleeping on the couch in the sitting room, so Celix and Nero had to sleep in another room.
I wanted to ask why he was sleeping in here with me, but honestly, I was too exhausted to have any kind of verbal sparring with him. I passed out nearly immediately.
I was not a morning person and was generally perturbed any time I had to be because some morally superior morning person from hundreds of years ago who lived off beer because the waterwasn’t safe dropped a self righteous quote about getting up early and everyone just went with it.
So, color me shocked when I was awake way earlier than I usually was and I didn’t want to stab someone. Kujo was sleeping across from me and I just watched him for a minute. He looked younger when he didn’t have his broody face on. Fuck, he was beautiful.
“Are you watching me sleep like a creeper?” he asked without even opening his eyes.
“Asshole. How’d you know? You never opened your eyes.”
“So, one thing I’ve figured out since being drawn into your orbit. When a celestial being is focusing pretty hard on a demon, we get this tingling in the base of our spine. It might be a cosmic thing or it might be a Lilith thing.”
“Shit, dude. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”
Kujo stood up and stretched. He was just wearing a pair of black sweats. Now that I’d met and murdered his entire family, I knew Kujo took after his dad. It never really made much sense to me that his mother got pregnant with a human when Furies were such purists, they wouldn’t even have babies with other demons.
I could see where a male demon wouldn’t be all that careful. They wouldn’t have to deal with pregnancy and childbirth. I was pretty sure the only reason she slummed it with a mortal was because Kujo’s dad looked likethatin sweatpants.
“Enjoying the view, Killer? You hungry? You’re going to need a lot of protein and carbs while your wings are fragile. It’ll speed up the process.”
“Carbs? Do tell.”
“A big, fat cheeseburger for breakfast with loaded fries would actually be beneficial.”
“I swear to my grandfather, if you’re fucking with me right now, I’m going to maul your nuts.”
“Mammon would have an aneurism if he heard you say that. And no, I’m not fucking with you. You kind of skipped a whole bunch of steps when you saved my life. You need more calories when you have magic and you need fuel to firm those wings up. Just say the word and I’ll make it happen.”
Some of my life was starting to make sense. My ex-husband had to change his diet as soon as he hit forty because his cholesterol was out of control and spicy food wasn’t agreeing with him anymore. My doctor always said my labs were beautiful and I would happily destroy the spiciest bun kebab at the Pakistani food truck downtown. It was another reason he turned into a bitter ass turd.
