“You leave my nuts out of this,” Kujo said, stepping off my tail and lunging until we were unstuck.
“You guys are still babies in terms of a demonic lifespan, but you’re bothwaytoo old for that,” Wrathhog drawled.
She didn’t have to tell me that. I hadn’t embarrassed myself in front of a girl like this since I was a very young demonling. Why was Kujo rushing in to check on her when he’d been a dick to her thus far?
“You okay?” Celix asked.
Iwould have been the first to ask that if not for fucking Kujo.
“Had some wing lessons, did some girl stuff. Right as rain. Someone has been trip-trapping in Lucifer’s secret passages. That’s how someone knew Kujo found Lucifer and we were going to get him. It was how they got the jump on Satan. I only know the basics of magical blood locks, but they can’t be picked.”
I knew the concept, but that was a rich people thing. They were expensive because of the metal and magic used to make them. No one in my neighborhood could afford them either. She was right, though. They were impossible to get into if someone wanted you out.
“I can,” Kujo said. “My mother’s, anyway. You can keep anyone out unless they share your DNA. It was a whole thing. She brought in countless demons to keep me out, and they couldn’t do it.”
“Shit. That was the part I couldn’t figure out. It’s one thing trapping an archangel, and it’s entirely another getting their blood without them escaping. Especially if Lucifer’schildwas involved. That has to definitively answer the question about the Fallen sharing DNA.”
“It’s more complicated with angel blood,” Satan said.
Sydney shrieked and then flipped him off.
“Youreallyneed to wear a bell.”
Did she just flip off the devil?
“Noted. Any time I’ve needed access to one of the other princes' secret rooms, they had to let me in. It was always Asmodeus because we thought he was up to something. With angels, we either have to be magically allowed or you have to have blood. I had to tell Asmodeus he could open it or I’d get his blood whether he wanted me to or not.”
“How would they get his blood without him overpowering them and escaping?” I asked.
I’d never met Lucifer, but I’d seen the photos and read the legends. He was only slightly smaller than Satan, and he was enemy number one during their rebellion. He had all the choirs of angels after him and he still managed to survive. Even with an Enochian warded cage, I couldn’t imagine keeping him contained this long.
We needed to read his diaries more, but if he’d known about Sydney, he would have fought like fuck to get out and keep her safe. Kir was way before my time, but even I knew Lucifer was never the same after.
“Probably drugs and someone who’s known him since the beginning of time. Sydney might not have met him, but she’s good at sussing out weaknesses and exploiting them like he is. He was captured during the rebellion. They didn’t kill him right away because they thought a public execution would end the rebellion. He manipulated them into slipping up and escaped. Anyone who fell with him would know that story. I’m guessing that’s what the imps are for.”
“Explain,” Sydney said.
“They are dumb as rocks, but no one can manipulate them because they are just constantly pissed off. They hate nice things, so you can’t bribe them with money. They love gettingdrunk or high, but each individual imp has a drug of choice. They expect everyone to know theirs, and if you offer the wrong one, they won’t work with you at all,” Celix said.
That about summed it up. There were countless ways to get drunk or high in Hell if you wanted to. You could even combine them if you were creative. There was basically no way of knowing who preferred what by looking at them, but the imps were literally smooth brained and expected everyone to know.
“Sorry, but Lilith seems really cool. Why would she make imps?”
“Mammon called her a whore one day. I don’t even remember what was going on. He was in a bad mood because Asmodeus called him a prude, so he took it out on Lilith. She made a bunch of them and let them loose in his yard. They breed like bunnies and became a bit of an invasive species,” Satan said.
So,thatwas why we were stuck with them. I had to get a shot once because one of them stabbed me with a dirty broken bottle because I didn’t have any drugs on me when I was trying to get home from the pub.
“Would Mammon have befriended the little menaces and used them to stage a coup?” Sydney asked.
“I don’t think so. He’s a follower, not a leader. Mammon regrets rebelling and he probably never should have joined us, but Lucifer is charming with a magnetic personality. He got swept up in things. He was also pretty good friends with Lucifer, Abaddon and I before all this. After Lucifer got kidnapped, he started hanging out with Asmodeus and I happen to know he can’t stand him. Asmodeus bullies him.”
We couldn’t rule him out. I didn’tthinkSatan was playing us, but we had to suspect him too.
We had to look atallof them.
When I said I wanted five minutes to process everything, I didn’t exactly mean this. There wasn’t much to do about it without ever being able to fly, so we were digging through Lucifer’s diaries again. Satan left and brought several boxes back.
I was already uncomfortable doing this, but definitely now that I knew Mom didn’t have a one night stand with the devil. I wasn’t one of those people who didn’t think their parents should have sex. I always wanted Mom to have someone. But it sounded like she never did because they’d actually been in love and she thought he just disappeared one day. It wasn’t like she could texthim or creep on his social media back then. If someone wanted to disappear, it was easier.
