“You doing alright, son?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” Frank wasn’t buying it. He gestured toward the kitchen with a nod.
“Why don’t you come in and have a seat. I’ll throw the kettle on for you, and we can talk while Janet rustles us up some breakfast.”
Frank and Janet had been Nate’s saving grace over the last few years.Frank MacKenzie had been the one to sponsor the veterans’ event where Nate had met Brian. He was a tenured professor at Harvard and had been for nearly two decades. Frank worked in the physics department and was well-known for his work in theoretical physics, having written three award-winning books on the subject. But he was also a navy veteran who had spent twenty years as a fighter pilot. As such, he frequently tried to host events at the university for veterans to meet and socialize with one another.
Frank had taken a shine to Nate immediately. Not only was the former Green Beret somewhat of an extraordinary veteran with his background and experiences, but he was a determined individual who pursued his academics in as fanatical a manner as he had his military achievements. Frank also recognized something he had seen before: someone who had lost something. And so he invited Nate out to his house.
Frank and Janet owned fifty-five acres of land that, among other things, was a great place to hunt and shoot. Frank had built a hundred-meter range where a gun enthusiast could fire weapons to his heart’s content, and he extended an open invitation to Nate to come and shoot whenever he felt like it, with Frank supplying the weapons and ammo.
Eventually, Nate took him up on the offer. They had gotten along well, shooting guns and drinking beer. It felt good. Even though Frank had retired as a captain in the navy, the two shared a strong connection and Frank had become somewhat of a mentor to him. He understood the military, but was also deeply immersed in the Harvard academic world.
Soon, Nate found himself coming out to the house every few weeks. Usually he and Frank would shoot, and Nate would help with any heavy lifting that needed to be done around the property. Janet would cook them a gourmet dinner and the three of them would drink a few bottles of wine and talk late into the evening. It brought a sense of support toNate that he was denied by the loss of his mother and the estranged relationship with his father.
It was clear that Frank and Janet were concerned. Frank kept a close eye on Nate and his studies through his friends in the anthropology department and knew that the thesis pitch had not gone well. And while archaeology was far from his field, he understood the niceties of the academic world perfectly.
Nate talked as they ate. He told them about the research he had done and about the train wreck of his proposal. He’d also told them about Paige. Frank and Janet listened quietly, holding all questions until the end. Finally, when they were all finished with their meals, Janet was the first to speak.
“So, I want to hear more about Paige,” she said eagerly. Nate laughed. Once again, it felt good to laugh.
“Janet,” Frank said, shaking his head at her.
“What? She sounds like a lovely girl. I think he needs to go hunt her down and tell her he likes her.” Nate slowly spun the spoon in his English Breakfast tea, stirring nothing in particular.
“She left, Janet,” Nate said. “I’m not so sure that she’s interested in anything more.”
“Nonsense,” Janet said, hitting him on the shoulder with a dish towel as she stood up. “Just look at you. You’re such a handsome guy. Of course she’ll be back.” Nate smiled as she began collecting the plates.
“Maybe.”
Frank leaned forward. “So, what do you plan on doing about your dissertation?”
“I don’t really know,” Nate said honestly. “I’ve been thinking it through, but I’m not sure at this point. I can start something else from scratch, or I can push it and risk failing.”
“You’re finished with your coursework, and nearly with your exams,”Frank said. “You’re just about out of time to get everything in order to start your research.”
“Believe me, Frank,” Nate said, “I’m well aware.”
Frank nodded slowly as Janet topped off his coffee and then her own, rejoining them. “Let me ask you a serious question. Have you ever failed at anything yet?”
The question took Nate by surprise. He’d failed at lots of things in his life, though not anything serious. Yemen maybe. As if reading his thoughts, Frank interceded.
“I don’t mean Yemen. We’ve been through that already. You’re the reason more men are alive than dead today. I mean long-term goals that you’ve set out to accomplish. Have you failed yet?”
Nate thought about it for several seconds before slowly shaking his head. “I suppose not.”
“Well, I’ll tell you how I see it. You seem to have a pretty solid track record of setting goals and meeting them. Whether it’s the Special Forces, Dive School, earning your master’s…” Frank let it hang in the air before continuing. “What makes you think you’ll fail now?”
It was a fair question. Nate had always believed in himself. And he had never, before twenty-four hours ago, doubted that he was right about Ubar. It was his inexperience in the academic world that led him to self-doubt. Thinking about it now, it was possible there was a connection between the disappointment he felt from his father the academic and his own self-doubt. Psychology was not his specialty, nor did he wish it to be. He simply noted the fact and moved on.
“It seems to me you’ve already made up your mind,” Janet chimed in.
Nate turned to her, puzzled. “How do you figure?”
“Well,” she said, “I’m just a simple retired attorney, so I don’t understand this world of academics like the two of you do, but your professors told you the thesis was dead in the water, did they not?”
“They did,” Nate agreed.
