I stood outside ofOlivia’s apartment with one hand in the pocket of my jeans and the other gripping a coloring book, shifting back and forth on my feet.This is a bad idea. I should go. No one wants to have a father drop from the sky and try to be a part of their life.
Maybe not people with fathers like you’re used to, Kayden. But you’ll be a good dad.
Will I though? What evidence do we have so far? My daughter is three and a half and I didn’t even know she existed until two weeks ago. Yeah, I’m killing it.
Not your fault; just knock on the damn door.
The door in front of me opened and Olivia stood there in jeans, leopard print boots, and a black T-shirt with her midriff showing. It was so different from what she usually wore at the office that I found my eyes immediately drawn to her skin for a moment before forcing them to focus on her face. It wasn’t like it was hard to look at her face once my eyessettled there. She was beautiful with her dark hair in a ponytail, her wide, brown eyes, and that damn nose ring.How Jace made it four years without confessing his love and kissing her senseless, I will never understand. I didn’t even make it four hours. Probably would have taken four days to fall hopelessly in love with her.
“Kayden, how long have you been standing out here?” She stepped into the hallway and shut the door gently behind her, looking concerned. My stress was probably all over my face. “We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Five minutes, and I’m ready. I’m just terrified she’s going to hate me. Or worse, not give a shit that I’m even here.”
Olivia pulled my left hand from my pocket and gave it a squeeze. “What did you bring?” she asked, looking at the coloring book in my other hand.
I held it out to her, and she chuckled as her eyes roamed over the dinosaur coloring book I’d picked up yesterday. Jace had gone shopping with me, and despite the fact that I knew he knew my daughter well, he never offered any advice and let me pick out what I wanted to get her, apparently sensing that I wanted to do something on my own for her even if that only meant getting a simple coloring book. He’d given me a quite pleased smirk when I’d settled on this one but still hadn’t said anything.
“She’ll love it.” Olivia tugged gently on my arm. My body slowly started to give in to her touch. “Kayden, do you trust me?”
I took a deep breath. Olivia and I had spent one full evening together, and since then, I’d seen her a handful of times, that wasn’t exactly the strongest foundation for a trusting relationship. Yet still, the answer waseasy. I’d trusted her from the beginning, whether that made any sense or not. “Yes.”
“Then come in and say hello, give her the coloring book, and let me explain to her what’s going on, okay?”
“Okay,” I said, following her as she opened the door and pulled us inside. Olivia’s apartment was open-concept like most of the apartments I’d seen in the city recently. Her small kitchen gave way to a large living room that had a couch with a TV mounted on the wall across from it. Along the far wall were a few windows. Nearly a third of the living room was filled with toys, all well-organized. Kaylee stood at a small craft table positioned against the center of the far wall and was working the heels of her hands into playdough, putting her whole body into the movement. She turned to face us and smiled as Olivia shut the front door.
“Hi,” Kaylee said before refocusing on her playdough.
“Hi,” I said, my heart beating as if I were on a treadmill. “I’m Kayden.”
She looked up at me again. “I remember you. I’m Kaylee. Our names are kind of the same. Mine is spelled K-A-Y-L-E-E. Can you spell your name?”
I chuckled and felt Olivia’s hand on the small of my back, nudging me further into the space. I walked over to the couch and sat down with the coloring book in my lap. I didn’t want to get too close since she didn’t know me. I’d never appreciated adults doing that when I was a kid.
“My name is spelled K-A-Y-D-E-N,” I said.
“We both have a K and an A and a Y and an E!” she said excitedly, like this alone would make us fast friends.
“Yeah,” I said, “Pretty cool. Can you spell your mom’s name?”
“Yeah, but she only has an A. All her other letters are different.” Kaylee looked back down at the playdough, and I let myself look at herand drink her in like I was seeing her for the first time. She had her mother’s long, dark brown hair with subtle waves and it looked like she’d gotten Olivia’s big, brown eyes too. But when Kaylee looked up it was easy to see how Jace had put two and two together once he found out about my hookup with Olivia. Kaylee’s cheekbones and mouth looked so similar to what I remembered of my little brother, Callum, that I knew she shared my genetics. She was beautiful, and I felt an instant pull toward her.My daughter.
“Kaylee, we’re going to have dinner in a few minutes, but Kayden brought you something,” Olivia said, turning toward the kitchen.
Don’t leave me alone, I wanted to shout as I watched her go. Instead, I curled the fingers of one hand over my knee and tried to calm my racing thoughts. Olivia lifted the cover off a pot in the kitchen and when I turned back toward Kaylee, I found her standing in front of me. She must have gotten up silently. I wasn’t accustomed to how fast kids moved, and it startled me.How did she do that?
“Is that aDinosaur Islandcoloring book?” she gasped.
“Yeah,” I said, offering it to her. “Your mom told me you were into dinosaurs right now.”
“Thank you!” She took it and ran into the kitchen to show her mom. “I loveDinosaur Island! Do you know Max? He’s a Pteranodon.”
A smile spread across my face as she said the word almost perfectly. “I’ve never seen that show.”
“Really?” she asked running back into the living room. “Mommy, can we watchDinosaur Island?” She sat back down at her table, pushed the playdough to the side, and pulled a container of crayons toward her.
“Maybe after dinner, sweetie,” Olivia said, scooping what smelled like chili into bowls.
“Do you need any help?” I offered, starting to stand up.
