I didn’t. The realization that whatever Jack and I had was over came to me almost immediately. This fling, this distraction—I had no desire for it anymore. Despite wanting him to take my virginity only a few days before, I now shuddered at the thought of doing it with him. We didn’t have a sliver of a connection. It was obvious to me now.
Especially after the lunch with Jamie.
After my initial nervousness wore off, it had been so easy talking to the ex-singer. The few hours had been enough to solidify my newfound respect for him. They’d also been enough for me to realize that my attraction to Jamie had nothing to do with being on drugs. Being on the receiving end of his smile made my insides twist with pleasure.
I couldn’t think of a single time Jack’s smile had that effect on me.
Jack must have seen a hint of what was coming on my face, because his expression darkened.
“I don’t think so,” I said softly.
He straightened his back.
I didn’t want to hurt him, but I was also eager to end things in a way that left no room for interpretation. “We’ve had a good run, but I think I’m ready to move on.”
A muscle in his neck fluttered and he clenched his teeth. “You’re kidding me. Is this you punishing me for what I wouldn’t do in the goddamn park?”
I shook my head with vigor. “No. That’s not it. I just don’t want to fool around anymore, okay?”
That anger I saw in the park flashed across his face again. “Goddamn it, Ivy. I can’t believe this.”
“Why? We were always casual. You knew it would end at some point.”
The flare in his eyes told me that maybe he hadn’t. I was surprised. “Wha—”
“Was I an idiot to think we’d get there eventually?” His voice shook. “That one day I could finally introduce you to my friends as my girlfriend?
“You wanted to date for real?”
He scoffed with derision at my puzzled tone. “It’s that guy, isn’t it? The one who texts you. You’re in love with him. We’ve been fooling around for over a year, and I’m starting to realize I never had a real chance.”
“How do you know about him?” I asked, stunned. I’d never mentioned Oliver to Jack.
“You jump up every time your phone buzzes three times, as if it’s the most important thing in the world. A message came once when you left your phone on the table during lunch. I saw the notification and read the first few lines. It was enough for me to get the idea.”
And just like that, my last message to Oliver, the one he still hadn’t answered, flared to the forefront of my mind. On instinct, my hand reached for the phone in my back pocket, and Jack caught the movement. He scoffed. “Even when I’m right in front of you, all you can think about is him.”
“Jack, I’m sorry,” I said, discovering that my voice was shaking. “I wasn’t trying to lead you on.”
He shook his head. “Whatever, Ivy. But a bit of friendly advice. Maybe don’t fall in love with someone who’s never around.”
His words seared through me as he turned and began to walk away.
With one last look at his retreating form, I went inside and trudged up the stairs, craving a shower, my pjs, and a cup of tea with Zoey. The day had worn me down, first with the Jamie rollercoaster, and now with the Jack showdown. As I rounded the corner of the hallway leading to my door, it appeared the day was not done with me yet.
Mimi was pulling bags of garbage out of her apartment and propping them against the wall. Unless I wanted to go back down, there was no way for me to get into my home without passing her.
I exhaled and stepped forward. She must have seen the movement out of the corner of her eye, because she twisted her neck to look at me from her hunched position on the ground. Her eyes widened.
“Ivy!” She lunged at me, pulling me into a crushing hug for a quick second before leaping back. Her movements were jerky, hyperactive. “Oh my God, where did you disappear to on Friday? We left before I could find you. Mikey wanted to go to the afterparty before it got too packed.”
“I had a—” I stopped myself from saying friend. “Someone came to pick me up.” Mimi still wore a smile, so I gave her a blank look. “I tried texting you multiple times, but you didn’t answer.”
As if only now realizing that I may be mad at her, she froze in place. A flush appeared on her cheeks as she tried to figure out how to respond.
“It’s fine.” Despite my irritation, I was also desperate not to get into another showdown with someone. “I shouldn’t have taken the Molly. But thanks for getting me into the club. It was…illuminating.”
Her lips twitched. She wrung her hands. “I’m sorry, Ivy. I may have overdone it that night. I wasn’t a good friend, was I?”
