Her lips quivered at my response. I couldn’t tell if she was on the verge of crying or yelling at me, and I didn’t get a chance to find out as her attention bounced back to her phone.
“The driver’s here,” she muttered, her voice hoarse.
I nodded. “You got all your stuff?”
“Yeah.”
We made our way to the front door, and I waited as she put on her shoes. When she straightened up, her lips quirked into a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Thank you.”
“It was nothing.”
“It wasn’t.”
She leveled me with one long searching look, then she turned around, and left.
Ivy left practically no trace of herself in the guest bedroom. The bed was impeccably made. I could imagine her fretting over it, trying to smooth out the wrinkles on the bedspread as if she could erase all evidence of her night here.
Something pulled me toward the bed, and I lay down on top of the comforter, thinking of her lying here just minutes earlier. I turned my face to inhale the lingering scent she’d left behind. Jasmine and sunshine. The jasmine was from the soap I had in the bathroom, but the sunshine was all her. Soon, she’d shower, and nothing of mine would remain on her skin.
I sat up and lowered my head in my palms. Thinking about her in this romanticized way was a form of self-torture.
Grabbing my phone, I dialed Nial. He picked up on the third ring. “What’s up, Jamie?”
“Got a few minutes?” I asked, leaving the guest room and moving to the living room sofa.
“Of course.”
Nial and I got matched at the end of my stint at the rehab facility. He was on their list of available sponsors, and I picked him solely based on the fact that years ago, he’d also been in a band. I didn’t need to explain my old lifestyle for him to get where I was coming from. He lived down in Irvine with his wife, Sarah, so we didn’t meet up all that much in person, but he was always just a phone call away.
“I think I need to start dating again.”
Nial chuckled. “Oh yeah? And what brought on that realization?”
“The fact that just dancing with a beautiful woman gave me boner like I’m sixteen again.”
He laughed. “You went dancing?”
“I went clubbing, but not like you think. I didn’t drink. Was barely tempted, if I’m honest. I was too busy getting tempted by the girl.”
“So why don’t you date this girl?”
“It was Ivy.”
The line went silent. Nial knew all about Ivy and what had happened between us on that tour.
“How did that happen?” he finally asked.
“She texted me by accident. She got high on MDMA, her friend ditched her, and she needed someone to keep her company. I showed up and hung out with her for a few hours before taking her to crash at my house.”
“You shouldn’t be around users,” Nial said.
“She’s not a user. It was her first time, and given her sorry state this morning, I’m pretty sure she’s never going to try it again. Fuck, man. The entire time at the club, she made my head spin. She started off just being friendly, but then she was flirting with me, and asking me to take her home and it was just…” I groaned.
“And you did.”
“Yeah, but nothing happened. Before we left, I told her she could crash in my guest room because she didn’t want to go home to her roommate. And on the drive over, it wore off, and she looked like a goddamn deer in the headlights. It made me feel like shit.”
“You did the right thing,” Nial said. “No need to feel bad about it.”
