I waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. “Yeah, you’ll probably feel groggy for a day or two,” I said. “All of your serotonin has been depleted. It takes a while for it to replenish and get you back to normal.”
She continued staring at the ground.
“What you’re feeling right now is not permanent,” I said, trying to comfort her. “Just an inevitable part of the comedown—”
“I’m sorry for messaging you.” The words burst out of her. “I’m…mortified about my behavior.”
Watching her struggle with the comedown of the drug hit me hard. I’ve been there before so many times—desperately trying to make sense of what had happened and what I’d done while high. I wondered how much of last night she remembered. My memory would often fail at parts, and that was always the scariest part of it all.
“Hey, don’t stress out,” I started to reassure her. “How hypocritical would it be for me to judge you for it? You saw how I got when I was messed up. If anything, it was a good thing you accidentally reached me instead of a friend who might have just freaked out at you.”
“How can you not judge me,” she said quietly. “I was practically begging you to…” She looked at me from under her eyelashes, regret and shame spelled out clearly in her expression. My heart squeezed painfully.
It wasn’t real.
“That’s what Molly does,” I said with a carefully casual shrug. “It makes you want to dance, and touch, and be physical with others because it feels so fucking good. Maybe if I haven’t been there myself, I would have gotten the wrong idea, but I knew it was just the drugs.”
She swallowed and nodded, holding my gaze. “Thank you.”
Her face was bare of any makeup, and despite the bags under her eyes, she looked cute. She was wearing the same top from before, and for a moment, I wished I’d thought to bring her one of my T-shirts to put on. Blood rushed to my groin at that image.
Fuck.
On second thought, maybe it was better to keep her out of my clothes.
“You don’t need to thank me. Just promise you won’t do drugs again with people who are likely to leave you on your own.” It wasn’t my place to pry why she’d decided to get high in the first place, but I wanted to at least try to make sure that if she decided to do them again, she’d do so safely.
“Oh God,” she groaned in response. “That was one of the worst ideas of my life. I can’t believe I agreed to go out with a girl I just met all because she could get me inside a club.”
I frowned. “That’s why you went out with her?” I’d almost forgotten she wasn’t twenty-one yet. “Listen, Ivy, I know we’re not exactly…friends, but if you ever want to go clubbing, just let me know. I still have all my connections from my Ritual Disruption days. And I know the places that will be safe for you and your friends.”
She shifted in place. There was something uncomfortable about the movement.
“I don’t mean I’d go with you guys,” I clarified. “I can just call up the people I know and get you on the guest list.”
Her expression turned thoughtful, and she pulled on her bottom lip with her teeth, looking sexy as hell in the process. My traitorous cock twitched in response. He didn’t give a shit about the fact that anything happening between Ivy and I was as likely as hell freezing over.
“That’s very kind of you,” she said finally. “But I think I’m done with clubbing for the foreseeable future.”
“Right, of course.”
She reached up to play with a small earring in her ear, and I watched her for a second too long before clearing my throat. “Do you want me to drive you back to your place?”
“No, I’ll call an Uber. You’ve done enough.”
As she pulled out her phone, I went over to the fridge to grab a protein shake, all too aware of her presence only a few feet away. My pulse was still racing, despite the fact that it had been over ten minutes since I got off the treadmill. I couldn’t even try to pretend that it wasn’t because of her.
“Why did you come?” Her voice was so quiet that I barely heard it.
I stared inside the fridge as I tried to come up with an appropriate explanation. In truth, I couldn’t really explain it. A day earlier, Ivy had told me to stay away from her, and I’d left that coffee shop with every intention of doing exactly that. But when I got her message and realized she may be in trouble, I’d gotten up off my sofa, grabbed my car keys, and left. I hadn’t needed to mull it over, weigh the pros and cons, come up with a rationalization… Going to Ivy had been instinctual.
Just like it’d been in that dressing room.
I didn’t know I’d find her there, but when I saw her, it was as if I’d been looking for her all along. Something had shifted in me when I’d kissed her. It was a stolen kiss, one that should never have happened, yet in the moment, the sweet taste of her mouth had felt like coming home. That kiss began to change things for me. It made me want more out of life.
It seemed tragic to feel this way about a person who wanted nothing to do with me.
I shut the fridge and turned to her. She was hugging herself. “I wanted to help you. It was another way to make my amends.” It wasn’t a complete lie. It also wasn’t the entire truth.
