“Towels are in the bathroom. Make yourself at home. I’m going to bring you some water. You need to drink it all, okay?”
I nodded and stared at my feet. Moments later, his steps could be heard down the hall. I ducked inside the bathroom to my right and turned the lock closed. When I flicked on the lights, I nearly screamed. I looked like a complete and utter mess. My makeup was smudged, and my tube top was damp with sweat. I didn’t know why it should matter, but deep embarrassment penetrated my gut at the thought of Jamie seeing me like this.
“Oh God…” I whimpered as I peeled my clothes off, unable to stand another second of looking like this. I needed a shower and a new identity.
The cool water hitting my sticky skin felt like heaven. My head hurt, and a hazy feeling of gloom penetrated every thought, but the water helped ground me. I was incredibly tired, but somehow also wide awake. I really hoped I’d be able to go to sleep.
After using a truly egregious amount of water, I mustered up the strength to get out, turn off the shower, and reach for a fluffy towel hanging on the rack.
Something compelled me to smell it, and it smelled just like Jamie.
Oh God. I told him he smelled good.
I told him a lot of other things as well, but if I started to replay the details of the evening now, I’d possibly die from embarrassment. That particular torture could wait until tomorrow.
Wrapping the towel tightly around me, I walked back into the bedroom and studied it closer. It was a tastefully decorated room with a small desk, a built-in closet, a queen bed and two bedside tables. A plush rug peeked out from under the bed, and my toes curled when I stepped onto it.
This would have felt really nice a few hours ago.
A tray was sitting on top of the bed. Jamie must have brought it while I was in the shower. On it was a big glass of water, a box of coconut water, and a toothbrush.
This display of thoughtfulness made me feel all sorts of weird.
The door to the bedroom was closed, but I walked over and made sure to lock it. I still hadn’t quite processed what had happened tonight or why Jamie had come to my rescue, and I wasn’t going to take any chances.
Moving the tray to the floor, I collapsed on the bed, sinking into the mattress and burying my face into a pillow. After what must have been an hour of restless tossing and turning, I finally fell asleep.
12
JAMIE
As I paced aroundmy bedroom, my thoughts bounced between what Nial was going to say when I told him I went to a nightclub and the herculean self-restraint I’d displayed tonight.
Oh yeah. And the fact that the woman who’d so thoroughly tested my self-restraint was currently in my guest room.
It had been thirty minutes since I left the water on her bed, and it was likely that she hadn’t fallen asleep yet. It was difficult to sleep after taking MDMA—I knew that from experience. But if Ivy couldn’t even bear to look at me after the high wore off, I doubted she’d take me up on an offer to hang out for a few more hours. I’d almost asked if she wanted to watch a movie together, but then I’d realized that would be as good as offering to Netflix and chill. As if she wasn’t freaked out enough.
Coming down from MDMA, especially the street-quality stuff she’d probably taken, was not very pleasant. She’d spent four hours feeling the best she’d ever felt, only to crash right back down to a world far uglier than the one she’d left. What was she thinking trying it for the first time with someone who’d ditched her as soon as they got to the club?
The irony of me lecturing someone on drug safety, even if it was just in my head, wasn’t lost on me.
I crawled into bed and told myself to stop replaying the memory of her pressed up against me. I knew she’d come on to me because of the drugs, butdamn it.When she’d said she wanted to go home with me, a vision of her naked and bent at the waist at the foot of my bed flashed so fucking clearly in my mind that I thought the bartender may have spiked my water with DMT. Denying her was far more difficult than not ordering a shot as soon as I walked inside that place. But in the end, I couldn’t do that to her, and frankly, I couldn’t do it to myself. The fantasy we’d weaved on that dance floor was all fake, no matter how badly I wanted it to be just a tiny bit real. I closed my eyes, and the next time I opened them, my seven am alarm was going off.
For a moment, I considered going to the gym. Instead, I decided to go for a run on the treadmill in the basement. I didn’t want Ivy to wake up and sneak out without saying goodbye. It was selfish of me, but I wanted to see her, even if it was just for a few minutes. After all, I had to make sure she was okay, right? If she had any questions about last night, I wanted to be here to answer them for her.
At eight, I walked into the kitchen and found her standing by the sink. Her back was turned to me, and her purple-streaked hair was tied into a messy ponytail at the top of her head. The tray I had brought to her room the night before was perched on the island.
The sudden tension in her shoulders told me she had heard me enter. I waited for her to turn around, placing my water bottle down beside the tray. At last, she did, and her hazel eyes widened as she took me in.
I was wearing an old T-shirt I’d cut into a tank top and running shorts. My skin was still slicked with sweat after the five-mile run.
“Hey,” I said, rubbing at my forearm. “Thought I’d check to see if you were up before going to shower.”
She placed her hands on the counter behind her and held on to it with a white-knuckled grip. “I’m up.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Awful,” she croaked, dropping her gaze to the ground.
