My bare feetscraped on hard gravel as I ran from my pursuer. The path ahead was cloaked in thick darkness, the kind that swallowed all light. I’d lost the flashlight. I’d tossed it over my shoulder when I realized it wouldn’t help, hoping it would hit the thing stomping a few feet behind me. Instead, the flashlight clanked pitifully on the gravel, and a sense of hopelessness crawled up my chest.
I couldn’t see where I was going, but I’d keep running through the darkness until my limbs gave out or my lungs sputtered out their last breath. Whatever was chasing me had to be worse than death.
Wait. What was worse than death?
The certainty I’d felt moments ago wavered. What was I running from? Where was I?
Pain shot through my foot, and I yelped, tripping and falling on the sharp surface. Within seconds, my pursuer was there. I fought but couldn’t win against the two firm hands on my shoulders determined to turn me over. The hands pushed me down onto my back and held me there until at last, I gathered the courage to open my eyes.
I was looking at myself.
I blinked and woke up. I was lying on my bed in the apartment Zoey and I shared, sweating under the thick comforter. Outside my window, the moon glowed. It was the time of night when everything got very still.
Taking deep breaths, I tried to clear the fog that dulled my mind. As thoughts and memories pieced themselves back together, I sat up on the bed and dropped my head into my palms, a sense of existential unease settling deep within my bones. Angry tears prickled in the corners of my eyes.
I had been so very wrong. How had I allowed myself to be fooled and deceived so thoroughly? I’d never known the real Oliver. I’d allowed myself to live in a fantasy world while ignoring the reality around me. If I’d been so fatally mistaken about Oliver, what else had I been wrong about?
Jamie.
I squeezed my wet eyes shut, sucking in a breath that sounded like the last bit of bathwater being dragged down the drain. Jamie hadn’t lied to me. No, he hadn’t lied at all. Even when he was messed up, he’d still managed to do the very thing Oliver never could. He’d told me the truth.
There was no comparison between the two men. Oliver had manipulated me and kept me caged inside my own head. Jamie had set me free.
The shame was visceral. It felt as if an axe had slammed into my chest, determined to cleave my heart, to cleave my soul, into two ugly halves. I wept into the comforter, trying to muffle the sounds so that I wouldn’t wake Zoey.
The memory of going to Mimi’s when I got back from Jamie’s hit me like an aftershock, and I raised my head to look around my room in confusion. I couldn’t remember what happened after I took the Ambien. How did I end up back in my bed?
I reached for the Kleenex box on the ground beside my bed and blew my nose into a tissue before using another one to wipe my eyes. Something moved outside in the living room. There was a rustling sound that put me on alert. I still felt disoriented and foggy, and when the door to my room suddenly swung open, I yelped in surprise.
“It’s me,” a velvet voice carved through the darkness.
“Jamie,” I whispered. “What are you doing here?”
He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Shadows cloaked his features, emphasizing the angle of his jaw and cheeks, and giving him an otherworldly look. Then he moved into the moonlight, and I saw that his expression was somber.
He was going to leave me. I was sure of it. Why wouldn’t he? Not only had I falsely labeled him a liar, but I’d also defended Oliver to him. The guy who’d damaged Jamie and Fox’s relationship nearly beyond repair. The guy who’s never had Jamie’s best interests at heart. Who’d stolen from him and taken credit for things he shouldn’t have.
Maybe Jamie believed Oliver when he said he’d made plans with me for the night.
I began to weep into my palms. The bed moved as Jamie sat down on the edge and pulled my hands away from my face. He caressed my cheeks and squeezed my shoulders through the comforter. He dragged his palms over the lump that was my body as if trying to make sure I was in one piece. His gentle touch calmed my sobs a little.
“We looked for you,” he said when he was finished with his examination. “Zoey and I.”
I sniffed. “You found me at Mimi’s?”
“Yes. We brought you back here. We were very worried, Ivy. We didn’t know if you were okay.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I just…” My throat closed up as I tried to hold back a new slew of tears, but it was futile. A sob racked through my chest, then another, and I was weeping again, my tears dripping down my face.
Jamie moved closer, leaning over, and wrapping his arms around me over the comforter. “Shhh, Ivy, it’s okay,” he whispered just above my ear, his lips pressing to my temple.
I didn’t deserve to be comforted by him. Jamie had shown me the kind of man he was over and over again, and I’d still refused to believe him even after we were together. I’d been so stupid.
“Oliver was lying,” I said through my tears. “We weren’t going to meet. He texted me about it, but I never answered. But earlier, I wondered if I should warn him that you were planning something. I’m such a fucking idiot,” I blubbered. “Leave me, Jamie. Just leave me.”
“I’m not leaving, and you’re not an idiot,” he insisted, sitting back up so that he could look me in the eyes. “He manipulated you, Ivy. He’s always been so good at that.” He let out a harsh laugh. “It’s his superpower. At seventeen, you didn’t stand a chance against him.”
I kicked off the comforter and sat up. “There were red flags right from the beginning, but I ignored them all. I rationalized his actions, I went along with all of his whims, and I took every single one of his words at face value. What’s wrong with me? How could I have been so gullible?”
